mrSilence, your Silent Superhero

Create Abundance 2020 really did create abundance in me

2009-12-04T00:20:00.004+08:00

I am a robot. A living machine destined to do work till the day end in my routine life.

Life is not going smoothly for me. My personal life is at its roughest. I need change, badly.

The event that change my life was triggered by the decision of attending my first Cashflow game. The energy in the venue can be felt. Its warm, inviting and loud. Just what I need.

I have no idea to what a Cashflow 101 game is. What I know is this is for business minded people. People who are into investing, taking risk and handling huge amount of money.

As we play the game, I let myself to get fully engage. It was so much fun and so much learning. I am a BS Computer Science graduate and I have so little knowledge about business and investing. All I know is I want change, now.

The game continues and I was able to get out of the rat race. The first one among the player that is. And it felt good. Getting out the paycheck world and to the universe of the rich people, the Fast Track. It was almost time before the launch is served when I have the chance of doing the last roll of the dice. A decision I have to make. To take the risk of rolling the dice for a chance of attaining my financial freedom. I took the risk and I was declared winner at the end of the game.

This is the starting point of the change I am looking for in my life. I need the environment that can create change. I need to surround myself with people that embraces change to their advantage. Create Abundance 2020 is the change I am looking for.

Distance, travel expense, stress, natural calamities ( Ondoy and Pepeng) are just some road blocks that I tried to endure to attain change in me. I took the challenge to be unstoppable and unreasonable. Indeed, the road to change is never easy. And I am willing to pay the price to make the 360 in my life.

I want to be a Core Team member. This is the challenge I took to myself after discovering the community of abundance I want to be part with. I arrange my schedule at work as well as took some leaves.

I finish the three modules required to ready my mindset. Indeed, mindset plays a big role in the money game. And it comes from the choice to win it.

Action. The fourth module. This is the module that made my mind open the doors I never knew exist in me. The doors of fear I never knew I had, network and opportunities.

After the time the task for module 4 was discussed, I know in myself that I am in the verge of being among the 9 over 10 people who quits the final task. Loser as it may sound but I really felt like a failure at that moment. I may look normal outside but a shock man reigns inside me. I am like a zombie going home.

I am not the type of person that let a give up attitude be squashed in my face. And here where the power of network kicks in. The network of people that appended the almost fading dream of change I have long looked for to become a reality. Because of my strong network, which I never knew I have all this time I was given a chance to live the life I want. A free man.

Opportunities behind opportunities. This is so true inside the community. The modules required to be taken really are a prerequisite because they will prepare the person to see opportunities that a preconditioned mind will not even glimpse.

Personal development is inevitable once been part of the Core Team. I can personally attest to that. My relationship with my family massively changed. The way I deal with people substantially showed my confidence. An immense turn around of vantage point on life took place the day I got out my comfort zone.

Money follows growth so they say. With the community I have now my part time business. And as I continue to know more about the business, I know my employment days are numbered. It will not be an easy transition but with my coaches around to guide and advise, I know I can make it. I have some of the best mentors the business world have.

Create Abundance 2020 really did create abundance in me. More than the business that it gave me, it is the personality that it chiseled and continuously polished in me that makes me commit to this relationship.

PS. What do you know, I am not a robot after all, but a free man in the making.

I found gold in a board game

2009-11-01T21:43:00.005+08:00

Its been more than a month now since I found the gold that I have long looked for in my life. My ticket that liberated me on my false beliefs and mendacious preconditioned teaching towards wealth.

I found gold in a board game. The CASHFLOW® 101 Board Game created by Robert Kiyosaki. Playing this game gave one of the biggest turning point in my life.

I am a BS Computer Science graduate and I do not know much about finance, business and investing. I have read some books and blogs before but I never really was able to digest much due to the technicality of the subject and the way it was presented.

The CASHFLOW® 101 Board Game eradicated all the walls and road blocks that hinders me in knowing the basics of investing and business. It gave me the avenue to experiment my investing and negotiation skills without loosing my real money. I played full-out . . .

**To continue reading my inspiring journey for financial freedom, follow the link below:

http://www.ca2020.net/group/ca2020pampanga/forum/topics/i-found-gold-in-a-board-game

Empowering you for your Financial Freedom,

Joel Gonzales, Core Team
0915.332.1108 | gonzaleswel@gmail.com
Create Abundance 2020 Business Community

** (Note: If you are signing up as a new member of CA2020.net please put Joel Gonzales as the person who invited you. Thank You)

I found gold in a board game

2009-11-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

I am a BS Computer Science graduate and I do not know much about finance, business and investing. I have read some books and blogs before but I never really was able to digest much due to the technicality of the subject and the way it was presented.

The CASHFLOW� 101 Board Game eradicated all the walls and road blocks that hinders me in knowing the basics of investing and business. It gave me the avenue to experiment my investing and negotiation skills without loosing my real money. I played full-out . . .

**To continue reading my inspiring journey for financial freedom, follow the link below:

http://www.ca2020.net/group/ca2020pampanga/forum/topics/i-found-gold-in-a-board-game

Joel Gonzales, Core Team

0915.332.1108 | gonzaleswel@gmail.com

Create Abundance 2020 Business Community

** (Note: If you are signing up as a new member of CA2020.net please put Joel Gonzales as the person who invited you. Thank You)

Revelation

2009-09-15T00:09:00.006+08:00

"We have learned."

Have I pretended my life all this times?

I do admit that I have committed countless mistakes in the past but tried to confront them to correct the wrong doings I have made.

I am selfish at times. Most of the times. Due to reasons I myself cannot enumerate.

You got tired. I got tired. We are now talking in silence.

This is not the end I have hope for. I died but never got to heaven for I still grip to the smallest joust of hope that a miracle could still happen.

And I guess my grip is not tight enough to cling on to that minute of believing, that faith of light so I got to face now my end destination of this zigzag scribling line.

I know we are at rest now. May not be the comfort we have read on fairytales but what is important is the sharing of life. No bitterness. No enmity. No regrets. We have learned.

Bench

2009-08-31T00:09:00.004+08:00

Going back the basic. Refreshin' one's memories of those worth retaining. Breathe. Think. Appreciate. Take me home.

..missing memoir.

2009-08-30T01:22:00.005+08:00

Who am I to become is through the way I know. The only way I know.

That if doubts preempts oneself to join and be part of me, then let go of the memories that were once shared so the soul of us will be set free.

If the path choosen is of forgiveness, destroy the wall of repugnance that infuriates and blinds one's healing heart.

For to live in a stone of heart, is to live in an eternal misery.

RIP

2009-08-27T08:44:00.005+08:00

Today marks the day of my death.

I am not the most ideal person to be with. I seldom speak out what I think and feel. I tried in some occasion and but results never favored me. Quitter you may say. Giving way is what I believe it to be.

Is it right to grief at my own death? Acceptance at my worst will be the salvation on the situation I've had.

A few times I removed myself at the comfort zone only to be murdered in the end. The taste of being a martyr is no doubt a bitter-sweet serenity.

I never got afraid of facing this tragedy but of one concern I'll forever bring heavy in grave. The inocent collateral damage I tried to save. Time will say the truth and wishing will set us free.

Now I am resting in darkness and will continue the cycle of life..

First

2009-05-12T06:31:00.001+08:00

Point anew

2009-05-10T23:17:00.004+08:00

Red is stop. Green is go!

2009-03-18T12:55:00.004+08:00

"a state of confusion once in a while is healthy after all..."

Decision making is one aspect of life that defines who we are to be in this world. I believe there is no such thing as a wrong decision for as long as you stand for the option you have chosen.

There will be times when confusion overtakes all of you that even a healthy you will feel sick, helpless and pathetic. Headaches thinking of nothing. Starvation for internal peace.

What road will you take? Personal fulfilment to become a complete person finding the never ending uncontentment or a person in a fulfilled stand of responsibility?

I think the best way to to decide is to seclude first one self from all the noises that blocks the inner self from hearing what really is essential and must. Loads of prayers and faith will be your gear to surpass this road of uncertainty.

Admit that I am weak and the mistakes that were committed for easy destruction of the wall of pride that hinders you from doing the first step.

Say what you want. Shout in an open space environment helps.

We are to live once. Let's make it worthwhile..

Kiko

2009-03-06T10:42:00.001+08:00

Just got this text from a friend informing that Francis M is dead. I was able to confirm this when I changed the channel over Wowowie were they were making a one minute prayer and silence for the Master Rapper.

Geez. Life really is unpredictable. Who knows when will we die. A lesson learned today... Death is inevitable. Rich or poor. Famous or condemn. Healthy or thin. We'll all end up as dust.

...a minute of silence as well for the family and the late Master Rapper.

Two movies in a row

2009-03-02T12:07:00.002+08:00

I am not a fan of Sarah. I am a John Lloyd fan hahaha. Kidding aside. I love both the movie, A very special love and this sequel You changed my life. I happen to watch the first at home and never got contented and brought my mom and sis to the mall to watch the latter.

Why am I giving a 5 stars? The movie delivered my expectation. Its light. Its refreshing. Its entertaining. A good movie to watch on my off.

EL turns 1

2009-01-29T11:19:00.001+08:00

Hurray! myPSP turns one year old today. Though I am not able to spend as much time before with her (names Angel) she's being kept and taken care of. So where's the party?

Seal of Confidentiality

2009-01-11T16:09:00.022+08:00

"Even death will not make me speak"

Breaking the silence of this three being. A proven medicine for men to speak out their mind is to have a seat and drink with them.

Thank's Bros! True people indeed that are a hard fine in a lifetime.

Still water runs deep...

A special thanks to Jeth for the warm accommodation whenever we go to your place.

Just a request for me to blog this. Here's it bro, the automatic opening ref. If you can't decide in 3 mins, the door will open itself for you. Nice huh? Ok, we actually freaked out when the door suddenly opened! ahahah

Far and beyond

2008-12-31T21:50:00.003+08:00

We are about to step over the line of another future. Let us be optimistic have faith and be true to ourselves so we can begin anew. Look forward and be free to explore. Remember that every fall is another learning and every success is a test to humility.

Happy New Year!

Celebrate and Enjoy

2008-12-25T11:02:00.001+08:00

Happy Holidays!

Just a thought

2008-12-04T17:28:00.006+08:00

"Be Free!".

To do things for the sake of..

Isn't this a pathetic reason of living? I can feel the suppressed condition of a person living with this thought. Or am just being pessimist? Maybe this will depend on what word you'll end the sentence.

I like my end word to be Freedom. Always been my principle in life, "Be Free!". Now who said I am negaholic? :)

Dancing in the rain

2008-11-08T17:26:00.007+08:00

"I wanna dance in the rain! Dance and shout at the same time when thunder roars so I and only I will know what ideas I uttered."

Months have past since my last my-own-view-of-the-world post in myBlog. Busy at work I guess. Okay pathetic reasons to a wanna be writer you may say. Or do I wanna really write for people? Who on earth is not busy nowadays? Got to squeeze all your sweat and blood to survive in our current world.

Simultaneously writing this post, I am chatting to a long time friend. Add on the music on my background by Christian Bautista. I love this feeling of being sad. Well when I say sad I mean something else by that. Nostalgic, breaking free, in love, happy, school days, people mixed into one...sad. I am not really the showy type of person who will shout out to a crowd in a busy pedestrian to have their attention just to announce something life changing in my life. That is why when I have this seldom moment, I grasp it. Makes me feel human and not a rock. That my internals are not mere body parts but something metaphysical.

Why do we need to do some things that we do not like doing anyway? Washing the dishes, circumcision (before your mind wonders, I am) , doing assignments, delivering a child, getting out of bed for work, getting along with not-so friends, new years resolutions, taking three shots of anti-Hepa vaccine, quitting our vices, savings...list goes on.

I can't really scribble all the reasons why. I just know that somehow at some point of doing so, a sense of fulfilment is a consolation we'll get in the end.

I wanna dance in the rain! Dance and shout at the same time when thunder roars so I and only I will know what ideas I uttered. I wanna be wicked. Be saint. Sane and insane. Curse! A sense of satisfaction in doing things that have remained blueprints in our mind.

Well just love doing this stuff called writing. You can be mean and villainous at the same time but your friends remain.

...I guess I'll just shout, "Happy 7th!"

Year 3

2008-10-24T04:48:00.003+08:00

Yup we need to party at this day coz its my third year now at my current company! Hurray! for surviving three long years at work. Though some of my batch mates are already out in the company, just want to extend my greetings to all of you! Oh boy, the AMASE days...

Never too late

2008-10-08T06:14:00.003+08:00

Second life

2008-09-25T06:16:00.004+08:00

"A blessed day it is, September 25"

Its been two years now since the day I got a motor accident. A life changing experience I must say. Now writing this post puts me back to the scene when blood suddenly splatted out my nose the moment I regain consciousness, people forming a mob-like crowd, the drunk driver and ONA(argh!).

Much have changed from that point on. Newer perspective in life, more people met, new dreams and goals, a commitment and many more.

Two years. A blessed day it is, September 25. All I can utter is " Thanks be to God..."

Mark it down

2008-09-13T11:02:00.004+08:00

"Make a mark on others. Start now. Break the loop of everyday activity by inserting some difference."

June 12-that will be the Philippine Independence. Surely a double pay :) May 01-that will be a double pay as well for its the labor day. What if I ask you what significant event happened on June 01? Or at the 5:00am on September 25, 2006? You may try searching the Net and you may find some useful info but those dates did not really made any significant mark on the calendar of history.

Barely, those dates are personal to me. First, being my date of birth and the latter being the day when I got an accident.

Isn't it wonderful to know that even once in our life we'll be able to tell someone that we have a special date that we ourselves made in history? Might seem ambitious in nature, but hey this is possible! Making a mark in history will not necessarily mean making an act to be written on books. It is not necessary to die just to make a history be marked.

An act of random kindness will surely make history to a person that received it. It will not be announced on pages of newspapers or news on TV but I am a hundred percent sure that it curved the kindness on the recipient.

Everyday seems so repetitive. Work. School. Home. Launch out. Trips. Gigs. Its like a deja vu. A routine walk of life. Why not make a difference everyday? Make a mark on others. Start now. Break the loop of everyday activity by inserting some difference. Difference will make the same day new. New to you, me and others. History is waiting to be written by you.

5

2008-09-07T15:22:00.001+08:00

Inexistent

2008-09-06T16:18:00.006+08:00

"But I affirming now that tomorrow will not be the same. I may not be known to the million but if it will take persons to the amount of the fingers in my hand whom I truly knows, then my mission of breaking inexistent is already fulfilled..."

Just this recent stage of my life am I able to feel that somehow I am able to touch people lives. Even through simple ways like small talks, advices on text or chat, or even my writing have I felt that I do fulfill a part of my mission.

I am not heaven sent to preach. I admit, I am never a good speaker. I am not a writer. I almost failed my English writing subject way back high school. I am not a psychologist. I can't elaborate Freud's theory.

I am just me. The person who experienced seclusion from the norm. I am just trying to flow with life. Live it simple. Smile with every encounter and walls. I am not a fighter, but I never was a quitter. I only do what I believe is just and true. To breathe each morning with a clear conscience and do the same before I close my eyes.

I am inexistent then. Maybe the same today. But I affirming now that tomorrow will not be the same. I may not be known to the million but if it will take persons to the amount of the fingers in my hand whom truly knows me, then my mission of breaking inexistent was already fulfilled...

Delay

2008-09-02T11:29:00.008+08:00

"Perspective on the what you can do when the "delay" happens and not mere focus on what halted."

Delay. A negative connotation will come to your mind once ask to describe it. But hey, I love this word. Sometimes delay coming to action really can make a day whole. Like yesterday, I accompanied Mi to the airport for she came home from a quick emergency vacation. All things were set, we said our goodbyes and I am just sitting on the waiting area for her text confirmation that she's on board. Few minutes or so, she's texting asking where I am. I thought she's joking when she said that she's outside looking for me. To my surprise, there she was...

Events that happen as planned and as scheduled are good. But how will you cope if the plan did not work out as you plotted on your time table? Not good. Lost. Catastrophe even if your OC.

I guess our tolerance of patience and faith will be tested here. Versatility on whatever stimuli life gives us. Perspective on the what you can do when the "delay" happens and not mere focus on what halted. We can control most but not all in this short journey. When you get a flat tire along the way, smile. You might just meet someone who's tracking the same road you're going. Or perhaps God is putting you to a pause mode to save you from a true disaster (9-11)...

Nevertheless, if things happened, surely behind in it is a reason. For what it means? Maybe we need to delay it for now so we can see the picture better tomorrow...

Quikie v1.0

2008-08-24T11:28:00.005+08:00

Another working day. I tried to get up even with sleepy eyes when I suddenly remembered that I only had one bar of charge on my cell phone. After inserting the plug of the charger I was surprised to see that its only 10:53 AM! Yes, I was able to get a good sleep for less than three hours! By the way, my current shift is nine in the evening so more or less I am at home at seven-thirty in the morning.

Since I was able to get my good share of quality sleep, going back to bed is not easy. So to make use of this "wake up time" I turned on my PC and start scribbling thoughts that me myself doesn't know where will end.

Let's start this random thought-event-remember-shoot-type-game.

Mi's lola died last August 21. Yes, Mi and Mama Len(Mi's tita) will be coming home this week for the funeral. Am I happy? No question 'bout it.

"Sleep. This is the predominant thing that always pops out in my mind when I'm at work."

Just not so for the reason she's coming home. I'm sure she's saddened with the family's loss but I personally believed that in death, life continues. Anyway, with no preparation I hope we can make the most of the time in her short stay.

mySurvivor texted asking if I have a personal savings, life insurance and health insurance for my parents. Now, where did those questions came from? Kidding aside. Its good to hear mySurvivor is getting financially conscious thinking about the future. Well I replied back and told my current status. Good to know her special one is into these things and both talk about savings, mutual funds etc.. Now, I suddenly remembered Bo Sanchez and the Kerygma Feast.

Now I am palpitating...(inhale.. exhale)

Sleep. This is the predominant thing that always pops out in my mind when I'm at work. Answering technical quarries of customers is both brain-juiced-sucking and face-curve-creating. Well, I do not want to elaborate more on the details of it for in about nine hours from now, I will need to face this same devil-sustaining life they called work.

A friend just got back home and flew again, away from home.

A friend celebrated her first year anniversary from work. Oh my, I remember our first meeting. You're less than a week from work, I am alone and looking for my elixir. Poof! I found a new friend!

I am palpitating again...

Sometimes we meet people that we never thought we'd get close to and yet we sometimes decide that its better off that you are far with each other for whatever lame reasons we may have. I guess this is why we're called humans and not machines..

I happened to click on Ner's page and saw a beautiful phrase.."financial freedom"..

45.8%-the status of the file I am downloading..
51 degrees Celsius- temperature of the CPU
Download Complete- the sound driver for my board

I have to park up my keyboard here. Palpitation on the third occurrence is not a good sign :) Mess with you soon!

Its been awhile

2008-08-07T06:47:00.006+08:00

Mt 16:13-23

Its been awhile since my last post here at myBlog. Oh my, I even is having some memory check here since I am trying to remember the format I am using when writting. Anyway, lots of things happened to me from my last post till now. Just to name one, I am now in my new department and currently doing e-mail support for DELL.

As of this time, I am still having some adjustment to my current task. Nosebleed, I must say. But its worth it since I learn new things each day...literally!

Anyway, I can't let this day pass without posting something since this day is an important day to me. It's our monthsary! Without a sleep yet and with the unstable Internet connection (thanks to Smart) fingers crossed that I will be able to post this, let me extend my greetings to Mi. Love you Mi and Happy Monthsary!

**Makareserve ne tang luklukan kulang ng sounds, Doritos and pear juice...

100

2008-07-08T00:27:00.006+08:00

on going training..

2008-06-30T11:39:00.002+08:00

Mi's day

2008-06-13T10:07:00.005+08:00

8 Letter Emotion

Unspoken words
thoughts never 'lease
Within this vast
emotions never freed

Outlet is denial
on gossip though are true
For even truth set free
tis, withstand can't be

Gratitude I do give
to the One above look to
For thanks won't worth a thing
if love of mine won't feel

Silent Celebration

2008-06-07T23:09:00.003+08:00

Nothing to do at home, I decided to have a movie trip. Its our monthsary (sad thing Mi and I can't be together this day) so instead of just sleeping out the whole day (coz it's my off) I drag myself out and went to SM.

The night before, I already checked the movies in the net. Good thing two movies are currently showing. Kung Fu Panda and the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

Since I have not yet taken my launch, I just got myself a takeout from McDonald's. Then hop I go to cinema 5. First movie... Kung Fu Panda. I love its humor, witty and not corny. Never got bored. Story is simple but something new. And graphics' superb. I recommend it for kids to watch.

After the movie end, I went to the food court and looked for something to bite. Lots of stalls catering different varieties of foods to choose from. I tried the mami in Goto King. Also bought peanuts from Peanut World while waiting for the next flick.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is quite a violent movie I must say. I can even say that it is more violent than 300. A little bit boring in the first part, but at the latter it was great. Protagonist winning over the villain especially in massive war between soldiers and supernatural figures never fails to amaze me.

Before heading way home, I decided to drop by at Razon's Sindalan branch to taste the best halo-halo in town. Quick service, kudos to the crew of Razon's.

..and counting.

2008-06-07T22:32:00.003+08:00

Another reason to celebrate. Another color added in our relation. Another month counted in our life.

Thoughts to pounder

2008-06-02T17:20:00.005+08:00

Just want to share this nifty thoughts that were shared and send via SMS by myTaberu. Made a lot of sense to me upon reading them...

Famous Quotes from Doraemon

~"Hindi porket kaya mong gawin ang isang bagay ay dapat mo na 'tong gawin."

~"Hindi mo dapat iyakan ang nakaraan...isipin mo, bakit nasa harap ang mata? Ito ay para lagi mong nakikita ang iyong hinaharap."

~"Mahirap maging matanda. Wala ng mas matanda pang titingin sa iyo."

~"Huwag mong ipakitang malungkot ka sa isang tao kung wala kang balak magshare ng problema.. para kang nagaalok ng hopia pero hindi mo naman ibibigay"

myScrapblog

2008-06-02T14:30:00.001+08:00

Forbidden act

2008-06-01T05:18:00.002+08:00

No Frowns allowed today!

Aristocrat

2008-05-31T22:14:00.008+08:00

Our movie and food trip last May 30. The movie house was jam packed! Good thing we were able to find good seats. The movie's great, love the realistic ending that it had. A must watch for those who wanna go abroad. I give the movie an 8 rating..

For our food trip, a give it a 4 rating. The place great and clean. However, the service crew are quite intimidating (well, according to mySis). No extra ordinary 'bout the food, but the barbecue chicken is good. If I may recommend, a total revamp on how the crew serves will make the big difference on the totality of the resto.

Marigold

2008-05-29T09:44:00.005+08:00

**“I can make a scene that's not supposed to be sexy, very sexy. It's a power you're born with. It's not a physical thing, it comes from inside. It's all in the eyes.” ~Tara Reid

I tried looking for the meaning of "sexy" in the dictionary and I got these definitions..

***Sexy: (adjective) erotic; generally attractive or interesting; appealing.

Sure enough, when we hear the word sexy, the thing that comes in our mind is something, good. Candy to the eye. Erotic. So I'll ask you a question now, when do you feel this state? The state of sexiness?

Is it when you're wearing your Victoria? Almost bare and the piece of garment putting focal on your curves. It could be showing your six packs in the beach and adding more by the tan you get from your burnt skin. Some may prefer doing an eighty in their bloody red Ferrari while blowing those thugs sounds.

Funny as it may seem, but I feel sexy when I plant flower seeds in plastic cups. Yes, you read it right..planting. I do not know but there's something with starting a new life from almost nothing into something. My sweaty shirt and dirty hands makes me look good and feel young. Special attention is needed to make sure that the seeds will germinate and grow. This is something worthy on my perspective doing.

True enough that sexiness does not come from the exterior. Just like beauty.. feel beautiful and it will transcend outside. If you think your sexy even if your petite or perhaps the big built type...you'll look sexy to the people around you. Why? Because that's how you perceive yourself.

Feel sexy today. See if something will improve in yourself. Remember, its not all about flesh, but your perception about things.

*Thanks to Google for the picture.
**Thanks to thinkexist.com for the quote
***Thanks to AOL Dictionary for the definition

Licence renewal/food tripping/movie tripping

2008-05-25T15:27:00.002+08:00

Shout

2008-05-13T18:18:00.006+08:00

"Now, I just have to realize on when to have the right timing to keep my mouth shut.."

One of the hardest arguments in a relationship are the one done in silence. Both parties clueless on what the other is thinking. I guess no relationship would last without getting through some fights or misunderstandings. These bumps serves as litmus paper on how the relation is stirring.

I personally is not a vocal type of person. I prefer keeping my thoughts to myself. Though sometimes it sucks to carry all the burden inside, I sometimes feel like loving it. Scary huh?! Yes it is. To the long silence, sometimes getting hurt is the only channel that makes me say to myself, "Hey you feel pain, your alive!".

Oh, boy! How I envy people who can shout. How I wish I was given such extra ordinary larynx. To scream all my thoughts and hear them echo back to me, in my face.

Given the extra ordinary silence, I have proven it useful and destructive at the same time. Now, I just have to realize on when to have the right timing to keep my mouth shut..

Forgive in totality

2008-05-12T13:58:00.005+08:00

" But I see forgiving as like giving."

Yesterday I attended the last mass at Holy Rosary in Angeles City. Coming out from work at 6:45 in the evening and anticipating the traffic, I decided to visit the Blessed Sacrament first while waiting for the last mass. Solemnly I prayed. Spending ten to fifteen minutes at that place prepared myself to feel His presence.

During the mass proper on the part where the priest says his sermon, I was deeply struck by the two aspects he tried to inculcate to the church goers. First is peace. Inner peace that is. And second is forgiveness. Inner peace, such a wonderful word. See, when I hear this word I immediately relate it to sleep. I think you'll agree that people with inner peace are the people who have a sound sleep. No bothered conscience to worry every time they try to close their eyes. And same goes when they open it upon waking up.

Forgiveness. This is the aspect I've focused more on the priest sermon. It is easy to say that you have forgiven a person but then again sometimes we tend to put a condition on the forgiveness we give. " I forgive you for your mistake but don't show your face to me again!", a classic example of forgiving with a condition. With the example I have stated a question pop up in my mind...did we really forgive the person with that precondition? I guess not.

Just recently, myButterfly's ex-boyfriend posted some malicious/degrading comment on my recent blog. It is myButterfly who informed me about the lewd post. What is my initial reaction you might ask. Anger? Revenge? I guess I did feel the normal reaction any man would feel. However, upon breathing some air and a few minutes of composing myself, I realized I just have to ignore those comments.

Thank God I was able to hamper myButterflys' anger by continuously conveying to her that we just need to ignore those comments and rather believe in my love to her. Minutes past and everything went under control.

I felt that I need to avenge at some point but deep within me I knew it will not be fruitful at end. The cycle or war will just run in circle if I do the same thing to her ex . I have a principle for this kind of people...Denial is the best punishment! It will be a sweeter revenge for me to see him wait for nothing with regard to my reaction. True enough, I saw no more post from him.*

I have forgiven that man. For in forgiving him for his wrong doings benefited me more. I have inner peace. I can sleep soundly at night. I have no baggage in my heart to carry. It is not an easy task to forgive. To answer this dilemma, I change my perspective in forgiving. I see forgiving as like giving. Better give than receive. And things will be lighter for me to deal.

Hopefully myButterfly will forgive his ex. And that is forgive in totality...

* I adjusted the security of my accounts as well

**Thanks to Google for the picture

Our day

2008-05-07T11:09:00.002+08:00

Happy Monthsary, Mi.

Twenty-seven minutes and seven seconds

2008-05-01T15:33:00.008+08:00

"Time cannot be reversed but you can enjoy each tick if you decide now..."

Twenty-seven minutes and seven seconds, what events could possibly occur in a short span of time?

Twenty-seven minutes of non-stop laughter between friends making jokes and seven seconds of deafening silence because everyone runs out of a punch line. Twenty-seven minutes of luxurious gambling and seven seconds losing a million. Twenty-seven minutes of pure love making and seven seconds of rest. Twenty-seven minutes of point explaining and seconds of saying "its over", ruining a relationship. Twenty-seven minutes of emergency operation and seven seconds of farewell. Twenty-seven minutes of pain and seven seconds of joy. Twenty-seven minutes of doing 100 km/hr and seven seconds late at work. Twenty-seven minutes of phone conversation and seven seconds after, you are missing the person already. Twenty-seven minutes of long wait in a line and seven seconds processing your transaction. Twenty-seven minutes of solemn prayer and seven seconds of salvation.

Twenty-seven minutes and seven seconds, a make or break situation over a very short span of time. Point here is not the length of time but the way it was used. Time cannot be reversed but you can enjoy each tick if you decide now...

Just feel like hearing this song

2008-04-22T15:37:00.001+08:00

Will it be forever?

2008-04-20T15:56:00.008+08:00

"Never have I felt free in my life as I said to myself "Yes, you are the one!""

Our happiness transcend each day to the way we interact to our cruel world. Problems seems so minute that we feel so big, we handle our life in breeze.

We are living life in dream. Finding each other in the midst of chaos, surely defied my reasons of logic. Never have I felt free in my life as I said to myself "Yes, you are the one!"

Life is not all ambrosia. Reality bites. And the only shield I can use to save myself from this delusions is to face the green-eyed monster, life's problems. When problems are so tough and seems to sink in too much in me I try to breath in, pause a minute and decide. Two choices: Confront or withdraw.

In many occurrences, withdrawal came my escape route. And where did I find myself? The exact same me and worst. Justifying each defeat and came silence.

A butterfly alighted between my fingers. Tried not to notice it. Ignore its presence. Drive it away in order to conserve the beauty it possesses from being ruined while trying to tag with me.

To no avail, the butterfly stayed. And question follows, will it be forever?

** thanks to Rob for the picture

When stars go blue

2008-04-18T23:23:00.003+08:00

how can I forget this song...Mi

myButterfly...myGF

2008-04-17T11:22:00.007+08:00

"I finally found myButterfly. "

All it took was a hold in my hand...

I will not consider my story the usual boy-courts-girl love story. I knew Mi for more than a decade now. Literally, she knows me
inside-out. My stories, plans, pains, happiness...

myVacation went more than I expected. It is an awakening moment on my part. It took a seclusion from the judgment of society and a focus to the only person I know in an unknown land for me to see my biggest blessing whom have been knocking on my door all these years.

Never had anyone treated me the way Mi did. With so much passion, every move she made created an instant scene of memory that not only marked in my mind but more especially in my heart.

I can smile. I can laugh. I can even tell her the same corny jokes which I know will not fail to make a curve in her face. And she just flow with me without any inhibition. I can sense the full trust she rewards to me.

So much I can say about Mi. But I guess the most concrete proof of my love to her will not be written in this post. Rather, it will be showcased everyday till the day comes that we don't need to arrange flight plans, itineraries and luggages...

the awakening..

2008-04-08T13:09:00.004+08:00

Shu & Mi

it

2008-03-11T11:26:00.003+08:00

"I hope our eyes won't see a crumpled money to the people that we meet but the value of the person equal to us without discrimination..."

Last Sunday, I went to SM. I watch a movie (10,000 BC), eat miryenda (beef wanton and tofu) and had my badminton racket stringed (thanks to the badminton committee for the racket).

Usually, this is my definition of fun when I go out.. alone. Yah, this is fun to me already. The highlight of my week. Due to my previous day off being weekdays (Tue-Wed), I got used to going out on my own. Sometime though to add a little twist on my off, I meet pareng SanMig. Three bottles will solve my day. And my favorite place to get a bit tipsy, Gerry's Grill. Another favorite of me is the draft beer at the food court section. Oh man, just love that bitter-cold stuff.

Spending a lot (okay I'm just exaggerating there, lol) I got home with my pocket full of change. Crumpled money. I just realized, if money could only speak, I will have a very long conversation with it. I will ask who are the people it meet, the places that it was able to visit, the situations it went through...

Have you been at the wallet of a credible politician? (I guess not) Or a tip from a celebrity leaving a hotel suite? Were you able to feel blessed when you were dropped from the offering of mass? Or maybe prevent a poor family to sleep with an empty stomach even for day.

A crumpled money. Its value does not supersede its form. The same buying power whether it was born yesterday or today. Such an amusing lesson I hope we can apply.

I hope our eyes won't see a crumpled money to the people that we meet but the value of the person equal to us without discrimination...

*Thanks to Google for the picture

Normal again...

2008-03-10T09:01:00.002+08:00

"Once again, I saw the sun! Thanks God! Boy, I miss the sunshine. Love the warm sensation in my skin."

Today's the first day for our new shift. For almost three years I did the graveyard shift. Now, my life's normal again. My schedule is 9-645, isn't that sweet? hehehe

Once again, I saw the sun! Thanks God! Boy, I miss the sunshine. Love the warm sensation in my skin.

Still adjusting though, since I usually sleep at this time of the day. But I think I will be able to cope fast. I must say, the sleep during night is very different with the sleep during the day. Very rejuvenating.

By the way, we have a new team (no name yet). New teammates and new coach. Looking forward with our collaboration. I'm positive we'll have a great team.

*Thanks to Google for the picture

Major

2008-03-07T02:06:00.007+08:00

"Most of the rare receipts I have are times when I shared a meal with a close friend or with my family."

Each one of us has a share of weirdness to present. Things we do or collect, compulsively. Some collect shoes, bags, caps, perfumes and stamps. Others like antiques, sports cards, and stationery's.

I have two things that I collect. One major and one minor. For the minor, I keep butterfly stuffs. Well, mostly key chains and small things with butterfly image or engravings in it. Not that I am obsess with it, but rather I like the simplicity and balance I feel when I see one. I do not buy them since they are mostly given by special people..in short donations, lol.

Now for the major, I collect receipts. You read it right. Receipts! You may wonder why I keep these piece of papers. Main reason is for record keeping. I admit, I am not good in remembering events and dates. So to compensate, I keep receipts.

Through these small piece of papers, I am able to trace and remember what have I been doing at a specific date. Time, place, items, prices, taxes, people, contact information just to name some information I am able to retrieve. Vital information that are readily accessible when I need them.

As with all collections, I do also have my favorite. If I can remember it right it was dated July 17, 2007. Moreover, I also have some special ones. Rare receipts which I am able to share with special people or myFamily.

myReceipts also serve as concrete evidence on how my life progresses. During my school days I am only able to eat at fast food restaurants(well if I am able to eat at these food chains it definitely means I have some extra money which is rare to happen, I tell you) Now, I am able to eat at the real restaurants. Okay, not those flashy fine dining four-type-of-spoons-soup-to-dessert resto but let's just say the decent ones.

Whatever things you collect or habitually do, for as long as it makes you happy, I am go to that.

*Thanks to Google for the picture

Comfort Zone

2008-03-01T21:58:00.001+08:00

"What keeps us from moving out our comfort zone? What's making us stay in our slacking position and step over the line of the unknown opportunity?"

I was once invited by a friend from work and mySis to attend a prayer meeting with a Christian Singles Community. During the sharing portion, my attention was caught when a sharer said something like...moving from our comfort zone.

"Moving from our comfort zone. Moving from our comfort zone. Moving from our comfort zone"... this thought lingered in my mind till the end of the prayer meeting.

What keeps us from moving out our comfort zone? What's making us stay in our slacking position and step over the line of the unknown opportunity?

I just notice for example that we complain so much with our work and demand a lot of things, but are we doing something to correct these gripe of ours? I guess not. I am pretty much sure you are still doing the same job that you are not happy doing everyday. Afraid of resigning for the fear of not getting a replacement job, asap, because you are thinking of the bills that needed to be paid. Even sacrificing your real fashion or aligning yourself with a work you're sure to enjoy with regard to your education.

I am guilty of this and I'm 99% sure you are as well. However, if you are included on the elite 1%...good for you. You are making the most of your life and just keep up the good work. As for the majority which I myself is included, well this is not a sad story for us. Some creativity and risk taking will be our primary weapon in solving this dilemma.

Surely moving out of our comfort zone will not be easy, but this is achievable. In addition, to being creative and taking some guts to take risk, we also need the big F which is the reality-making agent in order to materialized this goal. FOCUS. Distractions will be a norm along the process. But the sweet price in moving out our decaying state of comfort will be Nirvana, no doubt!

*Thank to Google for the picture

Smashing!

2008-02-29T16:15:00.001+08:00

"Play. Friends. Laugh. Enjoy!"

March 01, the day will have our first match up in our company's sports fest for badminton. We'll be doing doubles for both men and women.

myPakner, Roel. (this shot was taken during our practice games).

Hope I won't get sleepy during the game because of my work schedule (this are the times when you wish you work on a normal time like everyone else..sigh)

Wish us luck!

Bitter Medicine

2008-02-18T01:28:00.006+08:00

"On the other hand, why on earth is doing right like taking a bitter medicine?"

Why is it that most of the things we mostly enjoy doing are forbidden? Prohibited from lying, casual sex talks, smoking, drinking, surfing/watching porns, absenteeism, gossiping other people's lives, self-gratification, gambling, truant, " I will start tomorrow, promise" habit, corruption, cheating (especially during exams, lol) etc.

On the other hand, why on earth is doing right like taking a bitter medicine? Take for example following stated rules and laws like throwing our trash on garbage cans, simple and healthy living, self-discipline, going to Church, spitting out truth in our mouth ALL the time etc.

I think different factors will answer on why such activities we're fun doing are considered taboo and executing the appropriate act is like swallowing a raw spinach. Well I guess no one will be enticed to do the forbidden things if we do not enjoy them in the first place. They are like little sins concealed in a Toblerone. So sweet, we could munch a whole bar. And another. And another, till we drown ourself with these earthly pleasures. Sure thing life's short and indulging ourselves with our caprices once in a while is fair enough. No objection about that. However, I think the provoking enzyme that will put balance in all of these is knowing our limits. That is freedom to its truest sense, I must say.

As with the bitter medicines that we ought not to take, think again myFriend. Sure thing again that life's short, but given such a great opportunity...will it not be better if we live a life worthwhile? It won't be easy, no doubt 'bout that. And choosing this path will take more than just planned ideas, guts and saliva swallowed.

Choose your treat. Toblerone sure's sumptuous while just the thought of the bitter medicine aesthetics makes me dizzy. But I already picked my delight. Clue...I am having a sound sleep everyday :)

*Thanks to Google for the picture

Experience

2008-02-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

"When the man has the experience, it's a plus point."

When the man has the experience, it's a plus point. But if its the woman who has the experience..it's a different story. Well, for the latter, it will depend on the point of view of the person you are talking to. Double standards, hah. What's the difference?

I so believe that experience is the best teacher. Whether if its good or a bad one, still it counts as an experience. Now what creates the borderline in determining a good from a bad one? I guess an experience can be categorized as good if it benefited you in some way. There is a self growth within where you can identify your old you from the new you.

On the other hand, I think there is no bad experience, per se. Since all of the things we do especially the one we encounter the first time teaches us one way or another. I will however, put the perspective of it on an experience that we repeatedly practice where in fact we obviously know that it does us no good. Ask why it is continuously being done? I guess there is no definite answer for that since that is a case to case scenario for every individual.

Now going back to my first case on the difference. I guess there's none at all. However, I think the thin line that will only make the difference will depend on one's area of perspective. I think it will be relative to say that the more experience you have the wider your area of perspective. Then again, point of views differ and acceptance will be a good catalyst to break and dissolve this prejudice.

12th International Hot Air Ballon Festival..day 2**

2008-02-08T19:39:00.000+08:00

When opportunity knocks*

2008-02-05T03:59:00.000+08:00

"But there's one thing I take when I decide not to open the door that knocks... I take full responsibility."

How prepared are you to receive an unexpected gift or event in your life?

If you will be given a billion dollars, ask to resign to work and cruise the world, or perhaps an indecent proposal from a person (let's say you like as well) you never thought would ask you at an out of nowhere moment...how do you see yourself react?

I am pretty much sure your mind is wondering by now, but are you really prepared to receive such gift? I bet you're not.

Why I said so? Because we are used in seeing ourselves as not worthy of receiving such big blessings in our life. We tend to view ourselves as a little person who can only receive little blessings.

When opportunity knocks in our door, we often get hesitant to answer back. Sometimes we get too lax with our current situation that we tend to let a mystery gift pass us by. Well honestly, I myself is guilty of such hesitancy. Ignoring opportunities for the fear of failure. And what do I get for myself in the end? Failure as well. A friend of mine even once said that I am play safe... I guess the saying that truth hurts was enliven in this situation. Ouch!

Anyway, there's no one to blame if we get hesitant sometimes to take action in opening a door that we hardly know what's on the other side. But there's one thing I take when I decide not to open the door that knocks... I take full responsibility.

*I personally dedicate this blog to myRFighter for the encouraging words. Thanks so much!

Memory lane

2008-02-01T03:28:00.000+08:00

"Physically, sure there are BIG changes, lol kidding aside."

Browsing the net and hoping from page to page, I happen to read a friends blog* about himself and his old pictures. I felt mixed emotion while reading his post. Silently laughing in seeing his pictures where if I'll be asked to pinpoint him, I would never guess that it's him in a million years. hahaha (my bad)

Anyway, after finishing reading his post, I became rather nostalgic out of a sudden. I miss the days when we (myKababata) plays luksong tinik, taguan, piko, bahay-bahayan just to name a few of the games we enjoyed then. How I wish I still have the stamina to run all day long without getting tired and to do it all again the next day.

The tv shows during our time, oh how i miss them! All those Japanese dubbed shows,from Voltes V, Masked Rider Black, Bioman, Shaider, Masked Man etc..

I also remember singing along the intro and end music of each show. I do not know how, but I think at an early age I already knew how to speak Japanese. Geez, I do hope I knew what on earth am I shouting those times. But I really felt that I know them by heart, :)

Take note, our tv set then was only black and white. Imagine how I percieved Red 1...

Even with our prehistoric technology, this did not hinder me from exploring my world of imagination. However, I guess this took to much effect on me coz till now, I think I have an untapped super power. Ssssshhh!

My daily provision during my elementary days is Php 5.00. Enough for the half day in school. I do go home during lunch time because our home is only a walking distance away from school. Back then, five pesos can go a long way already. I can buy buko juice, chichirya and any food available that is with nutritional value with the remaining change.

Hilaw na mangga and bagoong is sometimes the highlight of my recess then.

A family computer, the only item on my wish list during my childhood days. Sad to say, I never had this piece of gadget.

But sure enough I was able to play it with my cousins. I'm pretty much sure you are familiar with the chubby plumber who love's to eat spaghetti ;)

A little trivia: My love to spaghetti was greatly influence with this computer character. Thank's Mario!

Walking down memory lane made me think about the big changes that happened to me. Physically, sure there are BIG changes, lol kidding aside. How I wish that I can have a glimpse of those past events in my life. Well one thing good about history is that even though events and happening already passed, we have the luxury to reminisce it over and over again.

*Reference:

http://jtlat10.multiply.com/journal/item/1/Aldrin_Torres_16_years_ago_._._.?replies_read=6

**Pictures: Thanks to Google :)

A dark conversation

2008-01-06T02:23:00.000+08:00

Punishment is retribution. I would like to cast it but I opt not to. I will have my dear friend Karma evens the score. ~myTaberu

myTaberu [1:25 A.M.]: i need your thoughts
myTaberu [1:25 A.M.]: ngek! you have a mbbr (member)
mrSilence [1:25 A.M.]: clear or dirty?
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: well
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: dark
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: hehe
mrSilence [1:26 A.M.]: :D
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: Punishment is retribution. I would like to cast it but I opt not to. I will have my dear friend Karma evens the score.
mrSilence [1:26 A.M.]: i love that
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: yikes
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: be serious
myTaberu [1:26 A.M.]: Punishment is retribution. I would like to cast it but I opt not to. I will have my dear friend Karma evens the score.
mrSilence [1:28 A.M.]: chotomate
myTaberu [1:28 A.M.]: hai

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
mrSilence [1:29 A.M.]: nice
myTaberu [1:29 A.M.]: think so?
mrSilence [1:29 A.M.]: make it darker
mrSilence [1:29 A.M.]: try death
myTaberu [1:30 A.M.]: nah.. i will have him on another statements
mrSilence [1:31 A.M.]: reading it again
mrSilence [1:31 A.M.]: ...
mrSilence [1:31 A.M.]: brings chill...
myTaberu [1:31 A.M.]: chill or goosebumps?
myTaberu [1:31 A.M.]: wehehe
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: chill
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: reading it again
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: brings
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: ...
myTaberu [1:32 A.M.]: what?
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: takot
mrSilence [1:32 A.M.]: hahaha
myTaberu is away at 1:33 A.M.

myBlessings....and counting.

2008-01-01T23:19:00.003+08:00

Kerygma Conference 2007

2007-12-30T22:46:00.001+08:00

I would like to apologized for the delay in posting the pictures of the recent Kerygma Conference I have attended due to some technical and personal reasons..

Anyway, better late than never..

Enjoy!

**Pictures where taken from myCel (Nokia 6110 Navigator)

Forgetting

2007-12-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes, the hardest part of forgetting someone so close to your heart is forgetting as well the people close to that person who became close to you"

We sometimes need to forgo the memories we shared with people who became close to us in order for us to move on. May not make much sense but if it would be the answer to step forward, its a choice that needs to be made.

It will be difficult. Hard..

It's not mandatory, but an option. I myself feels that I will contradict my own post. The more I try to convince myself of forgetting, the more I just remember the days we shared. I guess, refocusing myself on other things will do the trick. One thing for sure, they will never be forgotten...

Seasons Greeting!

2007-12-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

Happy Holidays!!! ~mrSilence

Be Free!

2007-12-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

"I hope before our time ends, we'll be able to stretch our arms wide open, leap on the ground and shout to the top of our lungs...I'm Free! "

Free! Isn't it a wonderful feeling when you know that you are free?

In this modern world, being free takes another level in its definition. A lot of things enslave us nowadays. Debts, not working relationship, weak faith, miscommunication, illiteracy, poverty and the list goes on..

Is being free a choice we make? Or was it a predefined pattern which drowned us to what we are now? I'll bite the concept in a 90-10 partition. I am giving "choice" the big slice due to the fact that we were given the Will to decide on the actions we make. Regardless on what force enslaves you, the power to break out is given within. Now, to dwell in this corruption, is a choice you make. The way you stand on your choice will determine if you'll be victorious in the end.

On the other hand, I'm putting 10% on the uncontrollable circumstances in our life since these factors are given in an as is basis. Example of this is the choice of family, status in life, birth abnormality etc. However, this are not determinants on what you'll be in the future. They will play a major role no question about that, but the way you'll interact on the given stimulus will make the difference. Two individuals can receive each a million and be given a day to use it...at the end of the day I'm pretty much sure the handling will never be the same.

Contemplating, I am still far away to being free. Not that I'm doing nothing. I still have a lot of walls to conquer. And the first wall I am working on is my own self. Wish me luck. I hope before our time ends, we'll be able to stretch our arms wide open, leap on the ground and shout to the top of our lungs...I'm Free!

Uninvited

2007-12-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

Message to mySungit inside the blog. You know the log in details...

Remnants

2007-12-17T00:23:00.000+08:00

" Don't live in a "What if" world. You'll never want to find yourself left behind by time..."

Sometimes, no matter how you convince yourself that you have moved on, there will come a point that you'll just find yourself staring blankly and asking yourself the silly question...what if?

Personally, I have a prejudiced perception about this. I love day dreaming. For in my imaginary world, I am able to grasp the things I usually will not have control in the real world. I can enact my idea of a perfect relationship. What's good about this, is the momentary joy it brings to whatever baggage you carry and healing it delivers within.

On the other side of the story, indulging yourself with the silly question will be like burying your own self on the ground. Stationary and without growth. To detain yourself in the "What if" world is a big no no.

The remnants can never be erased because this is a part of you already. It will be just a matter on how you'll divert this remains within you. Don't live in a "What if" world. You'll never want to find yourself left behind by time...

Time is now

2007-12-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

"Delay complicates life."

Too much thinking will lead you nowhere. Some of the best times in life often happens when we become spontaneous with the situation. Allowing oneself to flow on the current of events. Moving without thinking about the outcome.

Clock is ticking. Time wasted will never return again. If so, why are we pending our self in forgiving others? Why are we putting a halt in achieving what we know will makes us happy? What's keeping us?

I just noticed, happy people think less and act more. Delay complicates life. And there's a big difference with delaying and waiting for the right timing. The more delay you make, the more complicated life becomes. However, willingness is a good start.

The time to be happy is now. Not later. Not tomorrow. Choose not to delay myFriend. . . .

myPinatubo Adventure Slide

2007-12-14T00:34:00.001+08:00

Mt. Pinatubo Adventure, the Crater

2007-12-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature." ~Helen Keller

Mt. Pinatubo, the Crater

Note: Thank you to theHikers for this amazing adventure, Romeo(our tour guide) and manongDriver.

* Date: December 12, 2007 5:30 AM -5 :00 PM

** the three panoramic shots of the Crater were taken from my Nokia 6110 Navigator phone

Why?

2007-12-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

"Be reminded that stupid people also gets weary and blind ones often get stacked to someone they never intend to be with."

Sometimes having the truest intention won't let you win a relation. If a person does not have even the slightest affection towards the other, that's stupidity on the part of the one who loves and continues, while a lost on the one being loved who looks afar and remain blinded.

Be reminded that stupid people also gets weary and blind ones often get stacked to someone they never intend to be with. So why does this happen? I guess for us to learn and appreciate. Learn from the mistakes we make and appreciate the things that happens and comes to us.

Ah, the beauty of mistakes. Such a phenomenon that marvels me. See, there are mistakes we commit in our life that once we learn a lesson from, we never attempt to do the same act because we know in the end we'll only get hurt. Hence, we do the right thing.

However, there are certain instances of mistakes that we obviously know will only profit us pain, but we tend to do the same act over and over. Why? Either we're still hopefully stupid, or lost, blinded by our idealism...

myHeart

2007-12-10T01:16:00.000+08:00

"...vices extends life. Too much clean living is not good at all. So live in balance, myFriends."

I would like to thank myCadiologist, for understanding my sentiments yesterday. Seeing that I am not satisfied with the first impression diagnosis, myCardiologist immediately scheduled me for an echocardiogram (also popularly known as 2D echo or cardiac ultrasound).

Fortunately, every thing's normal. I guess, this really was just stress. Over fatigue..

Since I am still lucky that no major risk is manifesting in my body, I would like to appeal to all the people who will be able to read this post to please do take care of your health. As my stand to health still goes, prevention is better than cure!

However, sometimes I just wonder...vices extends life. Too much clean living is not good at all. So live in balance, myFriends.

Bitter-sweet reality

2007-12-02T03:59:00.000+08:00

"A sad part of being a problem solver is having my own dilemmas unresolved. Such a bitter-sweet reality. However, should this became my purpose of existence, won't it be the most noble irony we could have?"

I am very thankful to those people whom have entrusted their problems to me. I consider each one of you guys a blessing. Blessings in disguise! ( kidding aside ) :)

Seriously, bringing up a concern to someone is not an easy task (especially those make or break, awkward situation). I so much knew the feeling when merely uttering the problem to somebody can lighten the burden being carried. The relief of having shared a thing that bothers to someone you know will understand is priceless.

A sad part of being a problem solver is having my own dilemmas unresolved. Such a bitter-sweet reality. However, should this became my purpose of existence, won't it be the most noble irony we could have?

Toilet Bowl

2007-12-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

"My appearance did not matter to them, but my purpose eludes the form! "

Recently, I have unravelled a God given gift. I am not sure on what term to use in order to describe it, however, I thought of using an inanimate object to associate this God given talent. A toilet bowl.

I have discovered it one time I was able to chat with myHSCrush. She previously confide to me her problem with her husband and her reasons on going abroad. At one point of the conversation, I jokingly told her that I would write a post about our conversation. Poof! There it was, in front of me. The hidden gift I had all the while.

The situation of listening to other people's problem is not new to me. Topics range from financial difficulties, love and fidelity issue (ehem) , dreams and plans, personality and insight concerns and other issues just to name a few.

I love listening to their thoughts and the things that stir in their mind when I so much knew that by merely lending an open ear, reserving a few minutes of my time and giving my personal thoughts about the situation creates an aura of calmness, relief and security to them.

Such a fulfilment to me when at the end of the day, I know I was able to help someone even through my simple way of receiving all the shits they carry. My appearance did not matter to them, but my purpose eludes the form!

On Perspective

2007-11-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we tend to see things narrowly that we feel bad about our self. Well myFriend, try widening your view and look things at a different angle. If you can't see the goodness at your view point, try HIS view. You'll be dazed in awe.See things, on perspective...

Settling myself a few minutes after arriving from an exhausting trip from Manila to San Fernando, Pampanga, I immediately turn on my PC in order to download the pictures I have took from my cellphone. Not so excited huh? :) However, upon entering my log in information and pressing the Enter key, Boom! the power supply of the computer, gone. Come on computer! Not now. Okay those are the thoughts that are stirring in my mind while I telepathically talked to Eight (the name of my PC) hoping it would answer back. Sadly, Eight died that day. Nice timing huh?

Morning came, I decided to bring Eight to the computer shop to be checked or repaired, if necessary. I am hesitant at first to continue since the weather's not so fine due to the typhoon. At the end,however, I asked mySis to help me bring the computer to the shop just in case the rain pours I have someone to cover my dead PC.

We came at the shop thankfully, dry :) We didn't wait long as well, thanks to the attentive and prompt service of myCompTech. Nice service! Eight was revived in no time. Since I am at the shop already, I asked the sales lady if there were available RAM (Random Access Memory) compatible for my computer. Fortunately, no stock.

Our next stop, the wireless center to apply for broadband connection. The application process went smoothly but for one thing. When I was about to pay the initial monthly fee, network went offline. How lucky can I get? Now, this made me think. Is heaven creating some conspiracy about all this misfortune?

Rather than dwelling on these mishaps, let me commend myBroadbandGuy for the excellent customer service he gave. In less than thirty minutes or so, I was able to complete the whole process of application. Every now and then update on the status of my application, full disclosure of the service, courteous warm and with a smile interaction with the customer, what more can I ask! I am giving five stars to myBroadbandGuy for the distinguished service.

On perspective, I may see myself unlucky or "malas". But widening my perspective to view on the larger part of the picture made me realized that hey, I'm lucky! When Eight broke down, I just prayed. Why should I worry when the computer's warrantied for two years! The death of my PC created some quality time with mySis. We were able to exchange stories about the conference and my experience in it and her, with the recent religious gathering she attended in Tagaytay (she's hoping to be part of a singles Christian Community) as well as the fun she had at Enchanted Kingdom theme park.

Thanks God there were no stock on the PC hardware(RAM) I am supposed to buy, I was able to save money. Sweet :) As with the bad weather and the network issue at the wireless center, these were stumped by the superb customer service I had.

Sometimes we tend to see things narrowly that we feel bad about our self. Well myFriend, try widening your view and look things at a different angle. If you can't see the goodness at your view point, try HIS view. You'll be dazed in awe.See things, on perspective...

Superblessed

2007-11-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

The Kerygma Conference 2007, the Biggest Catholic Learning Event! True indeed I must say. Not only was my soul nourished, empowered and unleased but my totality SUPERBLESSED! Allow me to share the enlightning experience I had on my coming post. I would not however go on details of the program, rather share the personal learnings I digested.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank two people for without them I may have never realiazed how blessed I am today... myMatz and mySurvivor. myMatz for introducing Bo S. and mySurvivor for the ever cheerful and persistent spirit to bring me along the event. Thank you.

Basic

2007-11-21T04:03:00.000+08:00

"I personally define it as a state where I make a timeout. A time for assessing things. To simplify by removing the clutters that obstructs me from getting my planned goal."

Life per se is simple. But as we grow older, life complicates. It becomes complicated with different factors like our needs, wants, dreams, money, future, fears and the list goes on. So what do I do to overcome this? Go back the basic.

I personally define it as a state where I make a timeout. A time for assessing things. To simplify by removing the clutters that obstructs me from reaching my planned goal.

Easy said than done I must say. Why on my definition, simplifying reciprocates its own meaning? Be less to have more. Stopping in order to move on farther. Silence to utter a word.

Going back to the basic is just my way of awakening myself to get back on track. Nevertheless, whatever way you choose or make, what matter's the fact that you were able to realign oneself to reality. That is, life continues and its up to you if you would make a turn in its straight simple path...

A look back

2007-11-20T00:39:00.001+08:00

"Well, a philosophy I learned through this years when time comes that I find myself lost... I just go back the basic..."

It's been a while now since my last post. Well, it's not that nothing big is happening to me this past few weeks, rather I just choose not to write.. or you may put it this way. Nothing inspires me to write anymore. Lousy reason. I guess.

Did I made the right decision in retaining the name of the blog? Or am i just fooling myself that hey! you were made known of this name so continue with it. Would it be fitting to start a new one? My answer? I don't know. While contemplating on this question, I happen to remember my first blog. An unknown link, where a few were able to discover this hidden Easter egg.

Allow to present my first blog where it all started...

http://saru.blogster.com/

(Just click on the Recent Post at the left side of the site)

You may have noticed on how I struggle in constructing this post, and referencing an old blog just to complete it. Well, a philosophy I learned through this years when time comes that I find myself lost... I just go back the basic...

What's in a name?

2007-10-21T02:40:00.000+08:00

Surfing the net, I happen to bump a friend's page which includes a link that caught my attention. Hidden meaning of names. Immediately I clicked the link and entered my name. And the site defines my name as follows...

Joel

The Lord is God "Hebrew"

"You have a charismatic and magnetic personality which others cannot help but be drawn to ensuring you of many friends. Very ambitious your keen perceptive powers and ability to absorb knowledge helps you to achieve your objectives. You are a strong willed and industrious worker who is prepared to earn all the material success and good fortune which comes your way. With a philosophical attitude happiness is assured."

I bet you would like to know the link. And your curiosity is killing you now. Well, here's the link http://www.bostonuk.com/name_meanings.php

Enjoy!

Reference:

Thanks to Kimmie's memory box

My little bubbly friend

2007-10-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

My pal yesterday, today and tomorrow...

I just got home from a day of tiring work. The room's quite dim so I turn one light on, enough to see the walls while still keeping the cozy atmosphere. It was so quiet that I can hear every steps I made. Slowly I went in the kitchen to see my friend from long time ago. After some quick arrangement, I went back to the living room and sat in one corner. My favorite spot. Sited like an Indian, I settled myself to comfortable.

Now, one on one with my friend. Though my little bubbly friend never utter a single word, through the years we're still together. Always cool. Whether we are celebrating a special occasion or venting out the grudges we experienced, he never dared leave. A true friend indeed.

Started to felt really silent now. Reminiscing the days of my uncertainties. The times where I see a backward direction of my future. myThinking days as I call them. Pathetic. The word I would use to define my life then. "What am I thinking then?" I myself don't know. Then a grin. A laugh. A silent laugh, confirming that I was able to surpass those make or break times of my life. Thanks be to God!

I would like to propose a toss to my little bubbly friend! My pal yesterday, today and tomorrow...SanMig. Hurray!

Sick of it

2007-10-12T19:56:00.000+08:00

"Against all odds that comes, we Filipinos still manages to smile. Such a gift unique to us. "

I changed the channel on the TV to watch my favorite lunch news program. And I can't believe what I am seeing, every news segment features the Filipino Champ. From his arrival to the hotel where he stayed. Every movement, oh! can't stand it. Well I am not against him or what. Sure I am proud about his recent victory for he brings the pride of the Filipino people. What makes me the antagonist of the scene is the unfair attention being given to him over the unknown heroes that brings the same prestige and pride to our country. We have ALLOT of artist, inventors, athletes of the same caliber that not only makes us proud but as well makes noise to the world saying "Hey, I am Filipino and I make my country proud".

Here's the slice of my story. Philippines is a third world country. This physical sport is not the answer to improve the life of every single Filipino. Sure every fight creates an aura of momentary unity, however, we do not need a transient solutions to revive the struggling status of our country. If I'll be given the power, I'll focus on two things; Technology and Natural resources. This are the two areas where I see that our country will make an edge over the others.

At the end of the day, we'll still enjoy every fight this warriors will try to endure to obtain the sweet victory of being the champ. Against all odds that comes, we Filipinos still manages to smile. Such a gift unique to us.

Events

2007-10-08T21:55:00.000+08:00

Things that are happening... good or bad... are what makes us live and not just merely exist. ~myTaberu

I am overwhelmed by the news that comes in the inbox of my cell phone. Happenings from the lives of people I was able to share a piece of my life...

* Death of the grandfather of myChristmas Lights
* Death of the father of myMC
* myPyche leaving to Dubai
* new born baby boy of myEm.em's sister

The recent events proves some realization to me..

~We must live each minute of our life to the fullest.
~Don't take people for granted.
~When someone leaves, another will arrive
~Death is not an end, its a start
~One can have allot of friends, but there will be a category for the "near in my heart"
~Tears are biased
~When someone dies, you become closer to your relatives (you even discover new ones')

Waking up because September ends

2007-09-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

"as my memory rests

but never forgets what I lost

wake me up when September ends"

~Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day

It will be almost a week since my last post. As of now I'm still contemplating on what will be my next post. Reviewing my welcome note (my first article) , I have seen that I have a lot of reasons to write. I might be still in the stigma of the recent events that have occurred. However, life must go on. And I should live with the motto of this blog...Life is short, so write :)

I'm not changing the the name of the blog. It will still be mySungit.blogspot.com. However, there will be some significant changes. I'm viewing the subjects I'll be taking will be more broader. By the way inputs are welcome, so please post a comment and I'll see if I can work it out.

Empty cup

2007-09-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

This day marks the end of mySungit and mrSilence story. A decision was made and I am sure it is the right one. No one is to be blame for the outcome. Both got its own shortcomings to share. But these were willingly noted and accepted. I am thankful though. This is my sweetest downfall I must say. I have learned allot of things especially with myself. Lessons which polished the real man in me. I am a whole new person of dignity.

Even though fate did not favor us, I am still grateful I was able to meet mySungit. And more than anything else, I would like to extend my gratitude for sharing a cup of your coffee...

Quit!

2007-09-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

"Quiting is not losing. It is not a mark of defeat. It is gaining back a lost piece of your life from a state you thought is making progress."

I thinks it is inevitable that once in a person's lifetime, he would come to a point that the only reasonable choice to take is quitting. Not in the sense that he is a failure or loser, but rather got the courage to end something that he believe is fair and just in order to start anew.

I personally admire those type of people. How I wish I have the same courage and conviction on the actions that I do. Not that I'm an irresponsible person, but sometimes, there are certain things that my heart really is leaping for, but the moment passes by because I am just too scared that the turn of events won't favor me. Playing safe. Always weighing the possibility. A calculated risk.

Life should be a continuous struggle for improvement and growth, as what I believe. If you feel you are getting stagnant into something, whether it would be at work or in a relationship, don't be afraid to break free! Well, breaking free may not necessarily signify getting out totally, but may mean taking a refresh.. a timeout.

Quiting is not losing. It is not a mark of defeat. It is gaining back a lost piece of your life from a state you thought is making progress. Why waste time on your eighty years or less life enduring into something that does not make you happy?

Hope for the flower

2007-09-23T03:57:00.000+08:00

A white rose to mySelf, myFriends and love one....

Im the second type

2007-09-08T20:48:00.001+08:00

"Love is the one thing that will make these paralleled destiny intersect. Soul mates are Divine. Loved learned ones are Blessed..."

I just recently confirmed that I am the second type. I am not the soul mate type. Well that is the first type. A soul mate. The kind of person where once meet, a deep natural affinity is constituted. The love at first sight type. Almost no requirement since all is already given. However, this type I must say are rare. Most I know are found only in books and television. Some exist in real life though. But the chance of meeting one is one in a billionth. Nevertheless, this are not hopeless cases.

Being on the second category is not easy. I personally defined it as the loved learned ones. As opposed to the first type, this side requires more than just soul. Since there is no initial attraction, one has to build itself the aura of predisposition. The fireworks to catch notice. The blast to make the roaring sound of "I am here!".

Resources are usually maximized. Exhausted to minimal level. Moreover, some circumstances even requires a metamorphosis. Here, the sad part comes in. Becoming something you are not. Adjustments are necessary in order to fit in. Liking things you dislikes and forgetting things you normally do. Most of the time, actions taken are a make or break situation. And they usually break in the end. That maybe be due to the reason that you were misinterpreted or simply because you executed your plan poorly.

I would not like to sound prejudiced. Besides, this things are like anything else we have in life. They have their pros and cons. At the end of the day, it would not matter which category you fall in. What matter is, if you can answer YES! to the question, "Have I given my best shot?". Love is the one thing that will make these paralleled destiny intersect. Soul mates are Divine. Loved learned ones are Blessed...

Where did you fall?

The man with no name

2007-09-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

"As I started my engine, it comes to me that we never said our names. Oh well, people names can be forgotten but the teachings I learned today will forever instill in my heart..."

09/06/07: The weather nowadays is very unpredictable. One moment the sun is shining, then all of a sudden its raining cats and dogs. I was halfway on the road when the rain suddenly poured. I was left with no choice but to stop at the nearest gas station. There I met this cool guy at his early 50's as I estimate in his look. It is not my habit to talk to stranger but what the heck, the rain would seem to last an hour as I read the clouds movement. (One ability you'll learn when you ride a bike is reading clouds).

We started talking about our motorcycles. Brands. Parts. Prices. Accidents. Boy, its nice to chat with people whom you share the same interest. However, the things that marked our conversation are the realization I made in real life.

~there will always be a black sheep and good sheep in the family
~life is hard, but it pays for those who persevere
~money can open opportunities
~to live a single life is a choice
~parents greatest wealth are his children who succeeded in life
~parents play favorites
~less is more
~its not always the brain that will lead you to success but on how you treat people
~life's short, keep it simple
~you can start a conversation with a smile
~listening to other people's stories even if you are not interested makes a big difference in their ego
~the sky will always clear after a heavy rain
~timing is a big factor in a decision

The rain lasted almost an hour. We parted ways smiling. As I started my engine, it comes to me that we never said our names. Oh well, people names can be forgotten but the teachings I learned today will forever instill in my heart...

C to the second power

2007-09-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

"Shortcomings are inevitable on both parties since they are still separate individual being in mutual. It is here where the power of Cs' come in action!"

I believe in any relationship, two Cs' are needed in order for it to grow and flourish. Compromise and Communication. Dictionary defines them as follows:

Compromise
~ a: to come to agreement by mutual concession b: to find or follow a way between extremes
Communication
~ a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior

I personally defines compromise as give and take divided by personal differences multiplied to the tenth power of understanding. It is never easy to give in into something you have grown doing your way. However, the satisfaction you'll get in lowering your pride and dissolving your prejudices, I must say is priceless.

On the other hand, communication is another vital factor needed in steering a strong relation. But it should not just be an ordinary exchange of thoughts. It should be effective. In our current times, the medium to use barely depends on one's preference. But among all the means to convey, I prefer the personal means. Its sincere, direct, simple and not to mention cost effective :) You just have to open your mouth and speak out your mind. That's it!

However, with such simple task, I can't help but wonder why I can't execute it properly. No problem with my vocal anatomy. The thought is there. Sentences already composed. Even simulated to have the proper counter reaction should the end result failed. But then again, voicing them out seems like all dead air.

"Action speaks louder than words". This saying is not applicable to me. I tend to act too much, that I unconsciously forget to say those three simple words. Words that make a whole lot of difference. Utterance that starts a finish and finishes a start.

Currently, this is the predicament I am working on... to be more vocal on my ideas. To support my action plan, I am referencing a text message which mySungit sent last 16th of July. And it goes like...

"... Itng nung atn kng buri ishare, ali ka hesitnt. Emu isipan na sbyan da non sense makanyn.Or tng lako mu tng isipan mung mareject ka..."

Shortcomings are inevitable on both parties since they are still separate individual being in mutual. It is here where the power of Cs' come in action!

Stick Around

2007-09-01T20:57:00.000+08:00

If I was born a singer, here's a song I would like sing to mySungit at this moment in time...

Stick Around
~Azure

How many times do I daydream
About making love to you
Take you to a special place
Where it’s only me and you
I put away all your troubles
On the other side of the world
And wrap my arms around your heart
And tell you you’re my girl

(So let’s go steal away in the night)
And I’ll go far away from here
(Tell you that’s where our love is right)
Can I take you to my world?

Chorus:
Whenever you’re sad
Whenever you’re crying
I’ll be the one who wipes away your tears
Whenever you’re cold
Whenever you need me
I’ll be the one who runs to you
Giving my love
When you know how much I love you
So you better not let me down
I’m not asking for too much, baby
Just stick around

I quiet day in the country
Or a rainy night in my room
We’ll hide away under the sheets
If the morning comes too soon
An afternoon in your eyes
Or a lifetime in your heart
Forever just ain’t long enough
But at least it’s a good start

(Falling deeper in love with you)
Will you be there to catch me girl?
(I hope your falling deep with me too)
Can I keep you in my world?

Chorus:
Whenever you’re sad
Whenever you’re crying
I’ll be the one who wipes away your tears
Whenever you’re cold
Whenever you need me
I’ll be the one who runs to you
Giving my love
When you know how much I love you
So you better not let me down
I’m not asking for too much, baby
Just stick around

Forever, forever
Ooh…would you come on baby
(let’s go steal away in the night)
And I’ll go far away from here
(Tell you that’s where our love is right)

Ooh..
Cause, whenever you’re sad
Whenever you’re crying
I’ll be the one who wipes away your tears
Whenever you call me
Whenever you need me
I’m gonna be right there for you and give you my love
Yeah, and you know how much I love you
So you better not let me down
I’m not asking for too much, baby
Just stick around

Forever, forever...

Reference:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YOBZuCMnM-A

Defeating the Ultimate Force

2007-08-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

"As I head home, I can't help to smile and ask, "Did I really defeated Ultimate Force?". I guess there is nothing really impossible in this world as long as you put yourself into it. The Ultimate Force may try to hinder but in the end, it's all in the mind..."

Its Tuesday, and it only means one thing... Day Off! However, the sky looks gloomy. A sign of a wet day ahead.

I was awaken by a text message from mySungit. She asked if we could reschedule our meeting this afternoon should the rain continue pouring. I jokingly replied that the rain is scheduled till 2 PM only. So much for the forecast huh.

It was two in the afternoon and to my surprise, it is still raining. Oh well not really surprising. This is something that is not new to me. I just remembered, I was born with a twin. Me and the Ultimate Force. The power that stops me from doing things that would surely make me happy. With this situation, it clearly shows who's winning. Arrgg!

I texted mySungit to ask if we are pushing through with our plan meeting. Sadly, the rain shower hasn't stopped yet in their place. One more thing, I discovered that she's allergic to the rain. Not that she's having red patches in her skin with rain water, but because she easily get sick due to weak resistance.

Upon learning this, I knew where it is heading to. A cancelled meeting. A week of waiting. A cold gloomy day off. Thanks so much to Ultimate Force for intervening.

Isn't it frustrating to know that I can't do anything with this situation? Hmm, maybe not if I were given the power to manipulate the weather. But then again, I cannot sacrifice the health of mySungit. And also, what's the sense of seeing each other if you'll know in the end that she might get sick.

The day before, myMa was telling me if we'll go out to the mall on my off. (FYI, eating, window shopping and strolling on the mall is my simple bonding time with myMa). I said that I have something scheduled. Besides, mySis is on her first week of recovery and I know she would also like to come. If we can have it the coming week, then we can all come. So a perfect plan I have. This week for mySungit. Coming week we'll be for myMa and mySis.

Since the Ultimate Force won the battle this day, I decided to just watch a movie on my PC in order to divert my attention(frustration). As I am watching, I just realized and ask myself, "What the heck am I doing here?". I immediately turn off my PC and called mySungit.

This is just rain! Why am going to spoil my perfect plan and wait for another week if I can do this things today? Since the weather did not came along with our plan, I decided that I might as well bring the meeting in their place. So hurriedly I fix myself and way to go!

I dropped by the mall first to buy some candies for myPlaystation and blueberry cheesecake since we are supposed to have cheesecake. I arrived at their place around seven in the evening already.

We were not able to talk that much because of super-hyperactive myPlaystation. But at least I was able to tame this little rascal :) His shrill voice still lingers in my mind and on how he says my name, "aWel. Cute :D

Again and again, I would like to extend my gratitude to mySungit's mom for the advise and for offering me dinner. Very much appreciated. It just so happen that mySis requested that I bring her a present when I go home so I am not able to join them with their (delicous for sure) supper.

As I head home, I can't help to smile and ask, "Did I really defeated the Ultimate Force?". I guess there is nothing really impossible in this world as long as you put yourself into it. The Ultimate Force may try to hinder but in the end, it's all in the mind...

Reference of Ultimate Force
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_My_Goddess!

Meeting on purspose

2007-08-14T03:23:00.000+08:00

"I believe that life is a continuous process. It should never get stagnant. To hamper the growth of the person that means a lot to you is a sin. "

Out of no where I happen to remember a scene from an anime I used to watch back in school days. The head of the villain was captured by the heroes and was use as a hostage. However, the twist came when the boss villain was not even bothered that he's been captured and held captive. No fear was seen in his eyes. He's reason behind? This event that happened are not destined to occur. Its just like dropping by to a coffee shop on a long sunny day.

Wouldn't it be a funny thought to know that the person you met today, whom you believe is theONE, happened to just pass by in your life? The reason, hmmm it would vary. It may be to help you realize oneself. Or to open your mind and let you see on how wonderful life is. More interestingly, if you will be able to determine your purpose here on earth.

However, as the cliche says, if the person really means a lot to you, it would be a bittersweet reality that you learn to let go. I believe that life is a continuous process. It should never get stagnant. To hamper the growth of the person that means a lot to you is a sin.

But then again looking at the bright side of this sad process, let us be thankful for those people that passes along. Their intensity of reach may be as simple as an acquaintance to a life changing reason of encounter. Nevertheless, thank you we have met, myFriend.

Tomorrow's not my day

2007-08-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

"Tomorrow's not my day. If I'll have myDay... I would like myDay to be TODAY, with you!"

If you only have half a day to spend your last day, how would you consume this twelve hours remaining in your life? Sounds morbid, huh. But just a "what if" situation that would tickle your mind.

I guess majority would answer that they'll spend it with their loves ones. Parents, spouse, children, and relatives. Making sure every thing's in place. All obligations settled. A twelve hours spent closely with those people who mean so much to you. The way on how to spend it with them would really depend on your preference. An idea would be a luncheon, a party or a simple story telling of your life. However, I am certain that there would be tears. Tears of sadness, calmness, forgiveness, joy...

On the other hand, I guess I'll take the other route. To spend my last days... alone. it would be scary. Secluding. Dark. I preferred to have it by myself in order to view the full of me. Examine myself. See through the depth of my soul.

I would like to reminisce all the actions I have done and have not. Smile for those moments when my heart is leaping in happiness. Cry on those cold gray days. Jump on those times when I have conquered my fear and shout for my thoughts that remained thoughts.

However, I would not regret any action I have made. I stand that I have executed them responsibly.

But I know I am not alone if I decide to take this way. Actually, my primary reason would be to have a one on one talk with myCreator. To give thanks and praise. To express my gratitude in giving me a chance to experience this wonderful thing called Life.

A friend of mine said that I am living myself in the future. A life of assumptions and uncertainties. I planned too much that I forget to ceased the day. To enjoy it. To live every seconds of it. Make fun of it. Appreciate the people around. The cold food in the table. The rain when I am not bringing an umbrella.

Tomorrow's not my day. If I'll have myDay... I would like myDay to be TODAY, with you!

Born Unfortunately

2007-08-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

"Meeting mySungit. No explanation needed..."

Am I born ill fated? Just a thought that struck me today. I just noticed that when I am to do a "special" personal decision/action in my life, I always end up either doing it the wrong way or I get myself in an unfortunate situation.

September 26, 2006. Such a tragic morning. I had a motor accident with a drunk tricycle driver who came from a No Left Turn way. Got two laceration on my lower right foot, abrasion below the right knee and a slash in my nose. I was brought to a government owned hospital and got my first aid, if you can call it an "aid". I was not able to immediately call myMa to inform what happened to me, for the reason that 1) my cell phone was low batt 2) I am out of airtime credits to make a call. By the way the driver does not own the tricycle and was only hired to use it.

August 07, 2007. During a late night conversation with mySungit through text, I got this message while sending my last stand for her question. "CHECK OPERATOR SERVICE". The night ended raining hard. Typhoon.

However, I may only be seeing one side of the story. I may be born ill fated, however if I'll count the blessings that comes to me... my fingers on both hands would be inadequate to innumerate them all.

Allow me to try list a few with the given scenarios above.

I got an accident, a direct hit on the motor. Miraculously, I got no fracture or broken bones. I was conscious. I was able to contact myMa with the help of the policeman. I was able to recover in a week. I have a short term memory for this kind of events. I already forgot the name/face of the drunk driver and the ordeals that happened.

Meeting mySungit. No explanation needed...

1 cup of sad and 2 tablespoon of happiness

2007-08-07T01:38:00.000+08:00

"It was nice to see those people that visits mySis. Makes me wonder. If I would get hospitalized, who would visit me? Will You be there?"

I arrived from work this morning informed by myTang that mySis is in the hospital with myMa. I thought it would be a usual checkup she's having. Dawn came and I am preparing myself to work and still no mySis came home. There I knew something serious had happened. I immediately texted myMa, and I was informed that mySis was confined and diagnosed of appendicitis. And they are still waiting for the confirmation of the doctor for a possible operation, if needed.

I felt like a zombie while on work. Physically present but mentally absent. My spirit is roaming in vacuum. Fingers' crossed that it would not affect my current work performance.

08:04 PM, I received a text message. Wondering from whom it came, it was from myKots! (myKots is a batch mate from my current work, resigned and went abroad) Out from nowhere, such a good news came. Adding to this, "I brought yellow Abu Dhabi souvenir shirt 4u", a follow up message. Sweet!

Me, being like a directionless wind, finally decided to confined my situation to mySungit. I am having second thoughts in contacting her since its her off and I don't wanna disturb her personal time. However, I took the shot. And there she was, available to listen.

Our course of conversation went on from mySis, myAccident, msLeonardoD, trust topic, untold everyday learning with each other , myBlog (behind the story of almost deletion) , writing skills (struggling wanna be writer) and a high school anecdote.

The shift ended and time to punch out. Thanks God, the sky is clearer which is a sign of a good day ahead. I would like to extend my gratitude to mySam for the ride on the way to the hospital. In the hospital, entered the first building and started wondering why are there no lights on. Such a new hospital doing a cost cutting program? I can't really believe, there are no lights on! And there I decided to call myMa. Just then I learned that I entered the wrong building. I can't help but laugh my heart out.

It was Room 306, a private room at the far side of the hall in third floor. I saw mySis lying with dextrose of her right hand. I was relieved to see that she was already conscious. By mere observing, I can say that the operation went well. Without a sleep yet, I have to watch over mySis since myMa needed to go home to get some clothes and other things needed. It was estimated that mySis would need to stay for at least three days.

It was nice to see those people that visits mySis. Makes me wonder. If I would get hospitalized, who would visit me? Will You be there?

I would like to end this post with a written note I found in the table from myTang before I left to work.

* mrSilence=

what you want

what you like

ask and talk to myCousin!!! Okey

myTang

(this note was not translated) :)

Your net worth

2007-08-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

"Life itself is unfair. Your only leverage of continuing the fight is your freedom."

For no apparent reason, I was just struck by this question... how much is my worth? Absurd? Such a dumb question to ask you may say. But contemplating on how society sees people as a person today, all pours down into one place...your worth.

Fancy car, a house in an exclusive subdivision, multiple bank accounts; will this dictate how much is your worth? In this materialistic world, this might be the meter it would use to rate your value. Such a tragic reality.

Will you be a lesser person should you chose to live below your means and dream of just having what is enough and essential for you? I believe not. Choosing to live in simplicity is my goal after I settled everything. And in order for me to achieve this, my idea would be to free myself to all that complicates me. Easy to say, but it would take more than just self-discipline and commitment in order to fulfill this.

I guess determining your worth would take two things. Your self-worth and how others would value you. If you would see yourself as a thousandth person then that is your self-worth. You can also be a million worth of person. However, defining yourself like this draws to the conclusion that you can be measured on what you have. I would never want to be rated like this. I am not a thing. I am a human being.

How others would value you? A question which I guess when answered will determined you full worth. Who would like to be taken for granted? None. None deserve to be. So for those people whom you know values you, and more for those whom values you more than their life...a simple gesture of appreciation would not hurt. Believe me, they would be in high even for just noticing.

Everyday life is a struggle. A battle you need to conquer. Life itself is unfair. Your only leverage of continuing the fight is your freedom. Which path will you take? It's up to you myfriend.

Moment of silence. . .

2007-08-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

7/30/07: a moment of silence for the grandmother of Jirah...

All worth it

2007-08-03T22:50:00.001+08:00

"7/24/07: Life really is unpredictable. They say that there are three types of people. People who watch things happen, those that sit around and wonder what happened and the ones that makes things happen. Of the three, I can say that I am the latter with this situation... "

It's my day-off, and I have a busy schedule ahead. I have a to make a consultation to my dermatologist (my cousin) for my nose, drop by to mySungit because she's sick, and hopefully make a last stop to meet a long time friend who just came from Thailand, eThel. Not much for a day huh.

Having barely a four hour sleep, getting up was never easy. But then again, got to move! After a quick fix of myself, first task needed to be done. I have previously texted my cousin to have my name listed on the patients list since he works on the same building where the clinic is located. However, I got too early and its lunch break, so I decided to visit the studio where he works. Nice office. Saw some of their equipment, and my desire for photography was enliven once again.

Break time was over and hurriedly I went on the second floor. I am the only patient. Good. Waiting patiently, since the doctor is having a brief meeting. By the way, the clinic has a new face due to the recent renovation. For about thirty minutes of patiently waiting and starring at the ceiling, my name was called. My checkup took more or less than three minutes only, since my visit was more of the monitoring on the progress of my medication.

Since my checkup did not took so long and still got some plenty time, I decided to have my hair cut. Walking towards the terminal, I was scanning the place, hoping to find some fresh fruits. Unfortunately, I found none. So I decided to just purchase the fruits in the grocery.

After a quick metamorphosis, I hurriedly went to the grocery. I was carried away to see the bunch of fruits available. According to myPsyche, citrus is the way to go. Basic would be apples, grapes and oranges. Roaming around, I finally decided to have apples, grapes and peaches. OK, I have a new problem now. I do not know how to pick the the sweet ones. Thanks to mr.Assistant for helping me select the best picks.

I made a call to mySungit just to make sure it would be okay to visit her. Nice to hear, her voice sounds fine, which is a good indication that she's feeling better.

After paying the goods, my feet just carried me to the department store. I knew I have to buy something here. Lightning struck and I remembered. Umbrella! Why? The reason mySungit got sick was because she got wet in the rain. Prevention is better than cure as i believe. So asking each sales person where the umbrellas are located, finally I got one. Have to say my thanks to the accomodating saleslady...thank you for the service with a =)

Got what I needed and I am set to go. I took the ride which will take the expressway. The trip did not took so long and before I knew it I am already at the other side of the world =) One more hop and I'm there! However, I am to face a new challenge. Traffic. I'm caught in rush hour. My patience level increased 2 points with this struggle.

At last, I'm at their street corner! Now, just needed to text her to inform I already arrived. A few minutes later, she came. I can't help but noticed that she look kinda pale. I guess she's still recovering from her sickness. Their home is a walking distance from the street corner. However, with her current status, I suggested that we ride the tricycle. She insisted, and said that we rather walk on the way. The place looks familiar to me since a former co-worker lives nearby.

Two angels. They are the first thing I saw upon entering to their home. Such a manifestation of God's power and beauty. Then the warm welcome of her mom, which never fails.

Time went by with our unending stories and stories of others (yikes!). Then suddenly, I am silent. Just smiling. Thinking. Asking. Why am I here? Life really is unpredictable. They say that there are three types of people. People who watch things happen, those that sit around and wonder what happened and the ones that makes things happen. Of the three, I can say that I am the latter with this situation...

BigBrother is up. Just a background info, he's my former supervisor and the brother of mySungit. We have the same shift of work, making the night day. I guess he's just about to prep himself to work. Actually I never knew how I would greet him. "Coach!", while tossing my clutched fist over his. Way Cool! That's how I can describe our encounter. Now that he have seen me, hmmm (you think next).

Checking on my cell phone, one message received. I just remembered then that I still have a third task to fulfill. To refresh you, it's my friends who just came from Thailand. Opening the message, it was my other friend, madamG, informing me that the meeting was canceled. No reason was provided. So I just texted eThel to ask what happened. She had a stomachache and decided to just go home to have some rest. So sweet of her though, she said that she left a T-shirt for me and ask madamG to keep it for a while until we meet again.

End of the day again, and its nice to know most of my task scheduled were fulfilled...all worth it.

Peach Mango Pie

2007-08-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

" 7/21/07: With this in mind, I decided to drop by Jollibee to buy some peach mango pie. I've learned that this is her favorite treat. I hope this would create a curve in her face..."

Its Saturday and today I'm commuting on my way to work. I am attending the mass every Sunday. On the road, I just felt I have to do something. Thinking hard what i needed to accomplish to complete the day...

We were not able to have our dessert when we went out the first time. We should have blueberry or Oreo cheesecake. However, when we went to Red Ribbon, the store was already closed. I guess due to the bad location of the shop.

With this in mind, I decided to drop by Jollibee to buy some peach mango pie. I've learned that this is her favorite treat. I hope this would create a curve in her face...

Crossroads P.3

2007-08-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

"7/17/07: At this point, I am overwhelmed with the treatment they are giving me. Never felt a stranger with them. My compliment to her parents will not be enough to describe on this blog."

Time flied so fast that we didn't noticed it's already late. Since the moon came to light up the sky,it is but my responsibility to accompany her home. Even though some kind of hesitation is trying to set in, still I struggled to fight. I know things like this should not even be thought of and just go on automatically. I guess I have never yet let go of the trauma and pain I had previously felt the last time I did this.

Their place is point A against ours which is at point Z. Sounds funny, but it's true. However,distance didn't matter over a leaping heart due to joy of being with mySungit. Then it rained. Good timing huh. We didn't have any umbrella. The ride on the way to them didn't felt so long because of our non stop chats about our previous work. Though I got wet a little on our way to their place, it didn't matter much for as long as I know she's safe.

We're here, in front of their gate. My hearts pounding now. How would I react in front of her parents? Will they kill me for bringing their daughter this late? So much for the thinking. I guess I just have to present myself as natural as I can. Then their door opened. It was her dad. After greeting and showing respect, he immediately ask us to enter their home. A kind, deep, silent man... my first impression of him. A few seconds later it was her mom giving her warm welcome to their humble place. At this point, I am overwhelmed with the treatment they are giving me. Never felt a stranger with them. My compliment to her parents will not be enough to describe on this blog.

The rain stopped and we called it a day. . .

Crossroads P.2

2007-08-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

7/17/2007: "I am not a coffee person. I drink coffee but not into drinking the gazillion varieties of it. Coffee to me is either black or white. With two sugar. No extras. No additions. No complications. Simple. "

After the nice exchanges of thoughts, we decided to walk. Ask her if we can check back at the bookstore, since I am planning of making some self-study about Photoshop. After a book by book scan on the shelf, no Photoshop book was found.

OK, now I am alone. Where have she went? Hmmm. Went on the other side of the aisle. No mySungit found. Take my chances again on the opposite corner, still no mySungit! Where's she?! Now my mind wonders. Sad thoughts. Sadder thoughts. Need to move my feet. For what? No time to think. I cannot just wait there. Must move! Move! Went at the far side of the store and there alas! mySungit browsing some inspirational book. Adrenaline level back to normal. Relieved.

Since I am not able to find the book I am looking for, we are out here. Next stop, my place...Cyberzone :) Got to admit, love gadgets. But that ends in looking those teeny weeny electronics behind their glass walls. I just buy the essential ones, those that I need. After an eyeful of the latest toys, we went to see what is showing in the cinema. Told her that Ratatouille is showing already. Checked on its show time, we're 50 minutes to wait. Oh well, since the day is too short to be wasted waiting for a movie, we went our way to get some privacy. I mean, some coffee.

I am not a coffee person. I drink coffee but not into drinking the gazillion varieties of it. Coffee to me is either black or white. With two sugar. No extras. No additions. No complications. Simple.

Coffee Overdose's the place. Warm atmosphere. Soft light. Smooth music. Heaven on earth. Forgot the name of the coffee she ordered, but what I remembered was something like a raspberry. She really knows her cup, I must say. I knew I couldn't go wrong to have the same as her.

Now our stories are more personal. Stories with our families and friends. Funny. Sad. Shocking. Informative. I am amazed once again since never have I divulge this much information into someone whom, to this day have I only talked personally. I am like a server being hacked where my firewall has been bypassed due to the trust in access. Yes, I trusted her the first time me met. Funny though, the first few times we texted each other, we gave our own definition about trusting. Reciprocated sides. But respect became the key. . .

Crossroads P.1

2007-08-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

"07/17/2007: Ahhh, could not ask for more. This is life. The happy side of myLife."

Entry point
I'm dead! It's just a few minutes before 3pm and I am still 4 to 5 kilometers away from our meeting place. Thanks to the undying problem of traffic. (Sigh) I don't want to be defensive, however, I promise, I left home early and it's not habit of me being late! Sad.

The Encounter
Here at last! After making a quick fix of myself, (yeah I know even a makeover will surrender (=) there She goes, an angel who descended from heaven, mySungit. Will She kill me? (fingers crossed) We are supposed to meet at National Bookstore/planting books /bonsai section to be exact. Thanks God! A curve came in her face. Isn't that sweet?

Options Options
Okay I have to admit. I do not know anything about dating. Here, I can really prove that application weighs more than theoretical knowledge. But being a first, it should be the best.. or at least, good enough. I chose Gerry's Grill. Cozy place, nice food, good service. Perfect for a good conversation. We decided to go for a seafood trip. We tried the crab rice, blue marlin steak, and baked scallops (not much for a seafood trip huh)

Tongue of fire
I have made it habit to say some short prayers when I am to do something new (like this meeting with mySungit) or during a long wait on the wars of vehicles on the streets."Please God, give me strength and a tongue of fire. Please do not make me feel sleepy. Open my eyes. Do not make my stomach grumble. Stay put. Please don't let dead air ruin this moment. myMoment."

Then the unexpected happen. We are actually talking to each other! I am overwhelmed to see that she ate a lot. I mean it's like we've done it a long time before. She's so natural. Never have I been so comfortable like this before. She is the type of person that I would LOVE to treat over and over again for as long as I can and live.

Exchanges of stories. Previous job. Life in general. Ahhh, could not ask for more. This is life. The happy side of myLife.