Defeating the Ultimate Force

"As I head home, I can't help to smile and ask, "Did I really defeated Ultimate Force?". I guess there is nothing really impossible in this world as long as you put yourself into it. The Ultimate Force may try to hinder but in the end, it's all in the mind..."

Its Tuesday, and it only means one thing... Day Off! However, the sky looks gloomy. A sign of a wet day ahead.

I was awaken by a text message from mySungit. She asked if we could reschedule our meeting this afternoon should the rain continue pouring. I jokingly replied that the rain is scheduled till 2 PM only. So much for the forecast huh.

It was two in the afternoon and to my surprise, it is still raining. Oh well not really surprising. This is something that is not new to me. I just remembered, I was born with a twin. Me and the Ultimate Force. The power that stops me from doing things that would surely make me happy. With this situation, it clearly shows who's winning. Arrgg!

I texted mySungit to ask if we are pushing through with our plan meeting. Sadly, the rain shower hasn't stopped yet in their place. One more thing, I discovered that she's allergic to the rain. Not that she's having red patches in her skin with rain water, but because she easily get sick due to weak resistance.

Upon learning this, I knew where it is heading to. A cancelled meeting. A week of waiting. A cold gloomy day off. Thanks so much to Ultimate Force for intervening.

Isn't it frustrating to know that I can't do anything with this situation? Hmm, maybe not if I were given the power to manipulate the weather. But then again, I cannot sacrifice the health of mySungit. And also, what's the sense of seeing each other if you'll know in the end that she might get sick.

The day before, myMa was telling me if we'll go out to the mall on my off. (FYI, eating, window shopping and strolling on the mall is my simple bonding time with myMa). I said that I have something scheduled. Besides, mySis is on her first week of recovery and I know she would also like to come. If we can have it the coming week, then we can all come. So a perfect plan I have. This week for mySungit. Coming week we'll be for myMa and mySis.

Since the Ultimate Force won the battle this day, I decided to just watch a movie on my PC in order to divert my attention(frustration). As I am watching, I just realized and ask myself, "What the heck am I doing here?". I immediately turn off my PC and called mySungit.

This is just rain! Why am going to spoil my perfect plan and wait for another week if I can do this things today? Since the weather did not came along with our plan, I decided that I might as well bring the meeting in their place. So hurriedly I fix myself and way to go!

I dropped by the mall first to buy some candies for myPlaystation and blueberry cheesecake since we are supposed to have cheesecake. I arrived at their place around seven in the evening already.

We were not able to talk that much because of super-hyperactive myPlaystation. But at least I was able to tame this little rascal :) His shrill voice still lingers in my mind and on how he says my name, "aWel. Cute :D

Again and again, I would like to extend my gratitude to mySungit's mom for the advise and for offering me dinner. Very much appreciated. It just so happen that mySis requested that I bring her a present when I go home so I am not able to join them with their (delicous for sure) supper.

As I head home, I can't help to smile and ask, "Did I really defeated the Ultimate Force?". I guess there is nothing really impossible in this world as long as you put yourself into it. The Ultimate Force may try to hinder but in the end, it's all in the mind...

Reference of Ultimate Force
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_My_Goddess!

Meeting on purspose

"I believe that life is a continuous process. It should never get stagnant. To hamper the growth of the person that means a lot to you is a sin. "

Out of no where I happen to remember a scene from an anime I used to watch back in school days. The head of the villain was captured by the heroes and was use as a hostage. However, the twist came when the boss villain was not even bothered that he's been captured and held captive. No fear was seen in his eyes. He's reason behind? This event that happened are not destined to occur. Its just like dropping by to a coffee shop on a long sunny day.

Wouldn't it be a funny thought to know that the person you met today, whom you believe is theONE, happened to just pass by in your life? The reason, hmmm it would vary. It may be to help you realize oneself. Or to open your mind and let you see on how wonderful life is. More interestingly, if you will be able to determine your purpose here on earth.

However, as the cliche says, if the person really means a lot to you, it would be a bittersweet reality that you learn to let go. I believe that life is a continuous process. It should never get stagnant. To hamper the growth of the person that means a lot to you is a sin.

But then again looking at the bright side of this sad process, let us be thankful for those people that passes along. Their intensity of reach may be as simple as an acquaintance to a life changing reason of encounter. Nevertheless, thank you we have met, myFriend.

Tomorrow's not my day

"Tomorrow's not my day. If I'll have myDay... I would like myDay to be TODAY, with you!"

If you only have half a day to spend your last day, how would you consume this twelve hours remaining in your life? Sounds morbid, huh. But just a "what if" situation that would tickle your mind.

I guess majority would answer that they'll spend it with their loves ones. Parents, spouse, children, and relatives. Making sure every thing's in place. All obligations settled. A twelve hours spent closely with those people who mean so much to you. The way on how to spend it with them would really depend on your preference. An idea would be a luncheon, a party or a simple story telling of your life. However, I am certain that there would be tears. Tears of sadness, calmness, forgiveness, joy...

On the other hand, I guess I'll take the other route. To spend my last days... alone. it would be scary. Secluding. Dark. I preferred to have it by myself in order to view the full of me. Examine myself. See through the depth of my soul.

I would like to reminisce all the actions I have done and have not. Smile for those moments when my heart is leaping in happiness. Cry on those cold gray days. Jump on those times when I have conquered my fear and shout for my thoughts that remained thoughts.

However, I would not regret any action I have made. I stand that I have executed them responsibly.

But I know I am not alone if I decide to take this way. Actually, my primary reason would be to have a one on one talk with myCreator. To give thanks and praise. To express my gratitude in giving me a chance to experience this wonderful thing called Life.

A friend of mine said that I am living myself in the future. A life of assumptions and uncertainties. I planned too much that I forget to ceased the day. To enjoy it. To live every seconds of it. Make fun of it. Appreciate the people around. The cold food in the table. The rain when I am not bringing an umbrella.

Tomorrow's not my day. If I'll have myDay... I would like myDay to be TODAY, with you!

Born Unfortunately

"Meeting mySungit. No explanation needed..."

Am I born ill fated? Just a thought that struck me today. I just noticed that when I am to do a "special" personal decision/action in my life, I always end up either doing it the wrong way or I get myself in an unfortunate situation.

September 26, 2006. Such a tragic morning. I had a motor accident with a drunk tricycle driver who came from a No Left Turn way. Got two laceration on my lower right foot, abrasion below the right knee and a slash in my nose. I was brought to a government owned hospital and got my first aid, if you can call it an "aid". I was not able to immediately call myMa to inform what happened to me, for the reason that 1) my cell phone was low batt 2) I am out of airtime credits to make a call. By the way the driver does not own the tricycle and was only hired to use it.

August 07, 2007. During a late night conversation with mySungit through text, I got this message while sending my last stand for her question. "CHECK OPERATOR SERVICE". The night ended raining hard. Typhoon.

However, I may only be seeing one side of the story. I may be born ill fated, however if I'll count the blessings that comes to me... my fingers on both hands would be inadequate to innumerate them all.

Allow me to try list a few with the given scenarios above.

I got an accident, a direct hit on the motor. Miraculously, I got no fracture or broken bones. I was conscious. I was able to contact myMa with the help of the policeman. I was able to recover in a week. I have a short term memory for this kind of events. I already forgot the name/face of the drunk driver and the ordeals that happened.

Meeting mySungit. No explanation needed...

1 cup of sad and 2 tablespoon of happiness

"It was nice to see those people that visits mySis. Makes me wonder. If I would get hospitalized, who would visit me? Will You be there?"

I arrived from work this morning informed by myTang that mySis is in the hospital with myMa. I thought it would be a usual checkup she's having. Dawn came and I am preparing myself to work and still no mySis came home. There I knew something serious had happened. I immediately texted myMa, and I was informed that mySis was confined and diagnosed of appendicitis. And they are still waiting for the confirmation of the doctor for a possible operation, if needed.

I felt like a zombie while on work. Physically present but mentally absent. My spirit is roaming in vacuum. Fingers' crossed that it would not affect my current work performance.

08:04 PM, I received a text message. Wondering from whom it came, it was from myKots! (myKots is a batch mate from my current work, resigned and went abroad) Out from nowhere, such a good news came. Adding to this, "I brought yellow Abu Dhabi souvenir shirt 4u", a follow up message. Sweet!

Me, being like a directionless wind, finally decided to confined my situation to mySungit. I am having second thoughts in contacting her since its her off and I don't wanna disturb her personal time. However, I took the shot. And there she was, available to listen.

Our course of conversation went on from mySis, myAccident, msLeonardoD, trust topic, untold everyday learning with each other , myBlog (behind the story of almost deletion) , writing skills (struggling wanna be writer) and a high school anecdote.

The shift ended and time to punch out. Thanks God, the sky is clearer which is a sign of a good day ahead. I would like to extend my gratitude to mySam for the ride on the way to the hospital. In the hospital, entered the first building and started wondering why are there no lights on. Such a new hospital doing a cost cutting program? I can't really believe, there are no lights on! And there I decided to call myMa. Just then I learned that I entered the wrong building. I can't help but laugh my heart out.

It was Room 306, a private room at the far side of the hall in third floor. I saw mySis lying with dextrose of her right hand. I was relieved to see that she was already conscious. By mere observing, I can say that the operation went well. Without a sleep yet, I have to watch over mySis since myMa needed to go home to get some clothes and other things needed. It was estimated that mySis would need to stay for at least three days.

It was nice to see those people that visits mySis. Makes me wonder. If I would get hospitalized, who would visit me? Will You be there?

I would like to end this post with a written note I found in the table from myTang before I left to work.

* mrSilence=

what you want

what you like

ask and talk to myCousin!!! Okey

myTang

(this note was not translated) :)

Your net worth

"Life itself is unfair. Your only leverage of continuing the fight is your freedom."

For no apparent reason, I was just struck by this question... how much is my worth? Absurd? Such a dumb question to ask you may say. But contemplating on how society sees people as a person today, all pours down into one place...your worth.

Fancy car, a house in an exclusive subdivision, multiple bank accounts; will this dictate how much is your worth? In this materialistic world, this might be the meter it would use to rate your value. Such a tragic reality.

Will you be a lesser person should you chose to live below your means and dream of just having what is enough and essential for you? I believe not. Choosing to live in simplicity is my goal after I settled everything. And in order for me to achieve this, my idea would be to free myself to all that complicates me. Easy to say, but it would take more than just self-discipline and commitment in order to fulfill this.

I guess determining your worth would take two things. Your self-worth and how others would value you. If you would see yourself as a thousandth person then that is your self-worth. You can also be a million worth of person. However, defining yourself like this draws to the conclusion that you can be measured on what you have. I would never want to be rated like this. I am not a thing. I am a human being.

How others would value you? A question which I guess when answered will determined you full worth. Who would like to be taken for granted? None. None deserve to be. So for those people whom you know values you, and more for those whom values you more than their life...a simple gesture of appreciation would not hurt. Believe me, they would be in high even for just noticing.

Everyday life is a struggle. A battle you need to conquer. Life itself is unfair. Your only leverage of continuing the fight is your freedom. Which path will you take? It's up to you myfriend.

Moment of silence. . .

7/30/07: a moment of silence for the grandmother of Jirah...

All worth it

"7/24/07: Life really is unpredictable. They say that there are three types of people. People who watch things happen, those that sit around and wonder what happened and the ones that makes things happen. Of the three, I can say that I am the latter with this situation... "

It's my day-off, and I have a busy schedule ahead. I have a to make a consultation to my dermatologist (my cousin) for my nose, drop by to mySungit because she's sick, and hopefully make a last stop to meet a long time friend who just came from Thailand, eThel. Not much for a day huh.

Having barely a four hour sleep, getting up was never easy. But then again, got to move! After a quick fix of myself, first task needed to be done. I have previously texted my cousin to have my name listed on the patients list since he works on the same building where the clinic is located. However, I got too early and its lunch break, so I decided to visit the studio where he works. Nice office. Saw some of their equipment, and my desire for photography was enliven once again.

Break time was over and hurriedly I went on the second floor. I am the only patient. Good. Waiting patiently, since the doctor is having a brief meeting. By the way, the clinic has a new face due to the recent renovation. For about thirty minutes of patiently waiting and starring at the ceiling, my name was called. My checkup took more or less than three minutes only, since my visit was more of the monitoring on the progress of my medication.

Since my checkup did not took so long and still got some plenty time, I decided to have my hair cut. Walking towards the terminal, I was scanning the place, hoping to find some fresh fruits. Unfortunately, I found none. So I decided to just purchase the fruits in the grocery.

After a quick metamorphosis, I hurriedly went to the grocery. I was carried away to see the bunch of fruits available. According to myPsyche, citrus is the way to go. Basic would be apples, grapes and oranges. Roaming around, I finally decided to have apples, grapes and peaches. OK, I have a new problem now. I do not know how to pick the the sweet ones. Thanks to mr.Assistant for helping me select the best picks.

I made a call to mySungit just to make sure it would be okay to visit her. Nice to hear, her voice sounds fine, which is a good indication that she's feeling better.

After paying the goods, my feet just carried me to the department store. I knew I have to buy something here. Lightning struck and I remembered. Umbrella! Why? The reason mySungit got sick was because she got wet in the rain. Prevention is better than cure as i believe. So asking each sales person where the umbrellas are located, finally I got one. Have to say my thanks to the accomodating saleslady...thank you for the service with a =)

Got what I needed and I am set to go. I took the ride which will take the expressway. The trip did not took so long and before I knew it I am already at the other side of the world =) One more hop and I'm there! However, I am to face a new challenge. Traffic. I'm caught in rush hour. My patience level increased 2 points with this struggle.

At last, I'm at their street corner! Now, just needed to text her to inform I already arrived. A few minutes later, she came. I can't help but noticed that she look kinda pale. I guess she's still recovering from her sickness. Their home is a walking distance from the street corner. However, with her current status, I suggested that we ride the tricycle. She insisted, and said that we rather walk on the way. The place looks familiar to me since a former co-worker lives nearby.

Two angels. They are the first thing I saw upon entering to their home. Such a manifestation of God's power and beauty. Then the warm welcome of her mom, which never fails.

Time went by with our unending stories and stories of others (yikes!). Then suddenly, I am silent. Just smiling. Thinking. Asking. Why am I here? Life really is unpredictable. They say that there are three types of people. People who watch things happen, those that sit around and wonder what happened and the ones that makes things happen. Of the three, I can say that I am the latter with this situation...

BigBrother is up. Just a background info, he's my former supervisor and the brother of mySungit. We have the same shift of work, making the night day. I guess he's just about to prep himself to work. Actually I never knew how I would greet him. "Coach!", while tossing my clutched fist over his. Way Cool! That's how I can describe our encounter. Now that he have seen me, hmmm (you think next).

Checking on my cell phone, one message received. I just remembered then that I still have a third task to fulfill. To refresh you, it's my friends who just came from Thailand. Opening the message, it was my other friend, madamG, informing me that the meeting was canceled. No reason was provided. So I just texted eThel to ask what happened. She had a stomachache and decided to just go home to have some rest. So sweet of her though, she said that she left a T-shirt for me and ask madamG to keep it for a while until we meet again.

End of the day again, and its nice to know most of my task scheduled were fulfilled...all worth it.

Peach Mango Pie

" 7/21/07: With this in mind, I decided to drop by Jollibee to buy some peach mango pie. I've learned that this is her favorite treat. I hope this would create a curve in her face..."

Its Saturday and today I'm commuting on my way to work. I am attending the mass every Sunday. On the road, I just felt I have to do something. Thinking hard what i needed to accomplish to complete the day...

We were not able to have our dessert when we went out the first time. We should have blueberry or Oreo cheesecake. However, when we went to Red Ribbon, the store was already closed. I guess due to the bad location of the shop.

With this in mind, I decided to drop by Jollibee to buy some peach mango pie. I've learned that this is her favorite treat. I hope this would create a curve in her face...

Crossroads P.3

"7/17/07: At this point, I am overwhelmed with the treatment they are giving me. Never felt a stranger with them. My compliment to her parents will not be enough to describe on this blog."

Time flied so fast that we didn't noticed it's already late. Since the moon came to light up the sky,it is but my responsibility to accompany her home. Even though some kind of hesitation is trying to set in, still I struggled to fight. I know things like this should not even be thought of and just go on automatically. I guess I have never yet let go of the trauma and pain I had previously felt the last time I did this.

Their place is point A against ours which is at point Z. Sounds funny, but it's true. However,distance didn't matter over a leaping heart due to joy of being with mySungit. Then it rained. Good timing huh. We didn't have any umbrella. The ride on the way to them didn't felt so long because of our non stop chats about our previous work. Though I got wet a little on our way to their place, it didn't matter much for as long as I know she's safe.

We're here, in front of their gate. My hearts pounding now. How would I react in front of her parents? Will they kill me for bringing their daughter this late? So much for the thinking. I guess I just have to present myself as natural as I can. Then their door opened. It was her dad. After greeting and showing respect, he immediately ask us to enter their home. A kind, deep, silent man... my first impression of him. A few seconds later it was her mom giving her warm welcome to their humble place. At this point, I am overwhelmed with the treatment they are giving me. Never felt a stranger with them. My compliment to her parents will not be enough to describe on this blog.

The rain stopped and we called it a day. . .

Crossroads P.2

7/17/2007: "I am not a coffee person. I drink coffee but not into drinking the gazillion varieties of it. Coffee to me is either black or white. With two sugar. No extras. No additions. No complications. Simple. "

After the nice exchanges of thoughts, we decided to walk. Ask her if we can check back at the bookstore, since I am planning of making some self-study about Photoshop. After a book by book scan on the shelf, no Photoshop book was found.

OK, now I am alone. Where have she went? Hmmm. Went on the other side of the aisle. No mySungit found. Take my chances again on the opposite corner, still no mySungit! Where's she?! Now my mind wonders. Sad thoughts. Sadder thoughts. Need to move my feet. For what? No time to think. I cannot just wait there. Must move! Move! Went at the far side of the store and there alas! mySungit browsing some inspirational book. Adrenaline level back to normal. Relieved.

Since I am not able to find the book I am looking for, we are out here. Next stop, my place...Cyberzone :) Got to admit, love gadgets. But that ends in looking those teeny weeny electronics behind their glass walls. I just buy the essential ones, those that I need. After an eyeful of the latest toys, we went to see what is showing in the cinema. Told her that Ratatouille is showing already. Checked on its show time, we're 50 minutes to wait. Oh well, since the day is too short to be wasted waiting for a movie, we went our way to get some privacy. I mean, some coffee.

I am not a coffee person. I drink coffee but not into drinking the gazillion varieties of it. Coffee to me is either black or white. With two sugar. No extras. No additions. No complications. Simple.

Coffee Overdose's the place. Warm atmosphere. Soft light. Smooth music. Heaven on earth. Forgot the name of the coffee she ordered, but what I remembered was something like a raspberry. She really knows her cup, I must say. I knew I couldn't go wrong to have the same as her.

Now our stories are more personal. Stories with our families and friends. Funny. Sad. Shocking. Informative. I am amazed once again since never have I divulge this much information into someone whom, to this day have I only talked personally. I am like a server being hacked where my firewall has been bypassed due to the trust in access. Yes, I trusted her the first time me met. Funny though, the first few times we texted each other, we gave our own definition about trusting. Reciprocated sides. But respect became the key. . .

Crossroads P.1

"07/17/2007: Ahhh, could not ask for more. This is life. The happy side of myLife."

Entry point
I'm dead! It's just a few minutes before 3pm and I am still 4 to 5 kilometers away from our meeting place. Thanks to the undying problem of traffic. (Sigh) I don't want to be defensive, however, I promise, I left home early and it's not habit of me being late! Sad.

The Encounter
Here at last! After making a quick fix of myself, (yeah I know even a makeover will surrender (=) there She goes, an angel who descended from heaven, mySungit. Will She kill me? (fingers crossed) We are supposed to meet at National Bookstore/planting books /bonsai section to be exact. Thanks God! A curve came in her face. Isn't that sweet?

Options Options
Okay I have to admit. I do not know anything about dating. Here, I can really prove that application weighs more than theoretical knowledge. But being a first, it should be the best.. or at least, good enough. I chose Gerry's Grill. Cozy place, nice food, good service. Perfect for a good conversation. We decided to go for a seafood trip. We tried the crab rice, blue marlin steak, and baked scallops (not much for a seafood trip huh)

Tongue of fire
I have made it habit to say some short prayers when I am to do something new (like this meeting with mySungit) or during a long wait on the wars of vehicles on the streets."Please God, give me strength and a tongue of fire. Please do not make me feel sleepy. Open my eyes. Do not make my stomach grumble. Stay put. Please don't let dead air ruin this moment. myMoment."

Then the unexpected happen. We are actually talking to each other! I am overwhelmed to see that she ate a lot. I mean it's like we've done it a long time before. She's so natural. Never have I been so comfortable like this before. She is the type of person that I would LOVE to treat over and over again for as long as I can and live.

Exchanges of stories. Previous job. Life in general. Ahhh, could not ask for more. This is life. The happy side of myLife.

Mabuhay!

I can never think of other purpose of this blog, but to vent out the hyper-activeness I am currently experiencing. Events that are currently happening, that I can't afford to forget or at least, would like to retain a rich description of the details.

Life is short, so write :)

~mrSilence